Arrr-Bay. Sell yer unwanted stuff here

[Griffin NoName]

Fer sale

Foive Lines o Sea Shanty

Oi be a Pirate, Gis us yer money,
Yer gold plate, an yer parrot;
Else me first mate, along wiv is bunny,
And is fish bait, will fix yer Sonny
Jim

Amazing bargain. Beats yer measly one line mooosic  fer the same price - only £11,000 ter yoo.

Created by a Master Cap'n Poet.

Fer an extra 3 bob yer can ave the choir thrown in.

CroninCard only. That's giv us yer CroninCard and we givs yer the Shanty. innit.

[Calico Jack]

For sale 1 Dubloon or 12 bottles of Rum

Big Brenda's bloomers which she left on me ship when she slipped off with Black Bart for some night time fun.

These enormous bloomers can also be used as a replacement sail thus improving the speed of yer ship in windy conditions.

Buyer to collect (to big ter post you see) from Calico Jack though be sure to bring four sturdy swabs with yer to carry them away with yer.

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Genuine lock of hair from ye Blackbeard's beard.  Tis black and curly and thar be a limited supply so bid early to avoid ye disapointment. Presented in a fine pewter locket to hang round the neck o yer loved one, lovely birthday present for him or her.

No reserve.

Postage: 12 pieces of 8

Also see my other items:

Shavin from Blackbeard's peg leg. Genuine lock of hair from Anne Bonney's beard. Genuine bottled Kraken juice.

[The Black Spot]

You are bidding on:

A bumper collection of 50 customisable ransom notes.

Each one is carefully worded to extract the greatest amount of cash from the recipient. Just put the victim's name in the first line and you're ready to go. Just wait for the money to roll in!

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Vintage movie poster from a classic film of the genre:



Start the bidding at 40 dubloons for this extremely rare piece of movie memrobilia.

[The Black Spot]

JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN

THE DELUX CAPTAIN CRONAN MASK!




Step aboard any ship, and watch panic break out.

Made from heavy duty latex. Reeks of booze for added authenticity.

Current bid: 4 Benson & Hedges King Size

[Griffin NoName]

Fer sale:

Bottle of false nail glue.

Save on staples. Glue yer parrot ter yer sholder.

Price: exchange fer tube of golden eye patch ointment.

[The Black Spot]

Seller: Honest John
Feedback: -1376 (PowerConner)
Buy It Now Price: 1 Groat



Have you got unpleasant odours in your ship?

Then cover them up with

THE "BIG RON" AIR FRESHENER

Simply squirt a small amount of "BIG RON" into the air, and all previous smells and odours will be undetectable. It's like Big Ron is there in person!*

Available in three fragrant varieties:

Last Night's Chicken Bhuna
Essence of boiled greens
And the ever popular "Heavy Egg"**

One squirt, and that terrible stench from the galley will suddenly become insignificant!


*Do not use in enclosed spaces
** May induce vomiting


                        BUY WITH CONFIDENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

O'im pretty sure Oi've got a crewmate that can produce all three essences in one sitting. It's good fer fumgatin the vermin in the bilge.

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Job lot of Brightly Coloured genuine Parrot Feather Quills. Ideal fer fillin in your Log or writin out death warrants.

No reserve.

Postage: Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8

[Griffin NoName]

Fer Sale

Distance Learning Course

Module One
Ow to sail far away

Module Two (practical)
Sail far away

Module Three (practical)
How to chuck yer crew overboard

Module Four (theory)
How to survive at sea with yer rudder locked into a permanent circling round a barren island. For ever.

No returns. Guaranteed to work every time. No repeat bookins.

Price: bid starts at 10 Cronins.

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Genuine squid ink refills for Brightly Coloured genuine Parrot Feather Quills.

Buy now 4 dubloons .

Postage: Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8

[Calico Jack]

You are bidding for a

Ship' Cat called Cuddles.  This is a vicious rat eating, snarling, clawing, ugly flea bitten moggy.  I am selling it as it old, half blind and vomits a lot.

SELLERS WARNING:  Your new pet will give you years of fun (well days as it is on its last legs) but for your continuing enjoyment of your cat please do not go anywhere near it.

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Cat...O Nine Tails.  Guaranteed to strip the flesh of a man's back.  Only one previous owner.  Other whips in stock. One of our happy customers writes:

I had a chance to use this whip for the first time last weekend and it certainly did the trick. The blaggards wont look sideways at me again in a hurry!I'm new to single tail use, but with this whip I'm sure I'll pick it up very quickly. I'll certainly be a repeat buyer.

Capn Bligh.

Buy now 12 dubloons .

Postage: Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8, Pieces of 8

[Calico Jack]

You are bidding for a

The Black Spot Guide to Pirating (Volume 1).  This is being sold as I have now bought Volume 2 (same as Volume 1 but with less blood on it).  This contains such invaulable tips as.

1. How to use yer Cutlass.
2. How to use yer Pistol.
3. How to tie yer chef to yer Missile Launcher.
4. How to flog yer crew.


SELLERS WARNING:  As this book was dictated by Spot himself it appears as a long list of illegible grunts.  However you can obtain a version in Pirate English by clicking on the link below.

www.spotwantsyourmoney/youscurvyblaggards.com