Arrr-Bay. Sell yer unwanted stuff here

[The Black Spot]

For sale: One right boot (size 11), One left glove, and one contact lens. All as new. 4 groats the lot. Box 116A, Portsmouth.

[DaveL]

Yarrr...

VENDOR: Sporting Kitcsch Memorabilia Pty Ltd

ITEM: "The Piractica Football Team" signed official team photograph.

NOTES: A fully signed photograph of the entire side, taken just before their semi-final massacre vs Portugal.

As the entire side cannot read or write, the signatures alone are worth a hefty fortune (for comical effect).

A cheesy montage the entire violent sport fan industry will love and enjoy. Only 2,500 in stock. Semaphore your order NOW!

PAYSWAB or TREASURE CHEST TRANSFER ONLY

[Griffin NoName]

Fer sale.

One peg leg warmer.

Material: lurex backed fake-fur

Colour: pink

Size: expandable 23 - 650 cm L ; 23 - 650 cm W

Additional descriptive detail:

Handy fer winter. Keeps yer peg leg from freezing up. Useful fer nights out on the town.

Special Autumn Discount: add 10% to cost

Bidding started at £934

Bidding Closes: 31.10.2008

PAYSWAB/TCT/CroninCard-(debit only)

[Sibling Chatty]

Up fer Bid

Complete set of sails for a four-rigger and ketch.

All in a fetchin' shade of pink, wi' lavender lashins, trimmed wi' Chantilly-syle lace an' faux Zebra fur.

12 matchin' hammocks, 2 full staterooms of foine furniture and linens.

Enterpreneur takin' loss on stock fer the proposed "floatin' red loight districk" after makin' purchase of a ship arranged by Capt. Cronin.

Also available, assorted lots of frilly outfits, slinky dresses and negligable negligees, gen'rally in colors to match th' sails.

All offers considered, any mode of payment accepted, except cash transfer by Capt. Cronin.

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.3% (Thanks Mum)
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Ye genuine Treasyre Map o Capn Kidd. No photos available as yet.  Printed on ye parchment effect vellum.

No reserve.

Postage £999 dubloons

[The Black Spot]

Starting bid: £0.01

You are bidding on:

One full set of French Navy uniforms. A few holes and slashes in the items, but this is reflected in the low starting price.

BUY WITH CONFIDENCE

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1% (Sorry Mum, I didn't know there were still rats living in the pockets!)
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

Complete set of Collectors Pirate Cards originally free with gallon cans of 'Ye Olde Fishe Heade Stewe'.
Ideal to swap with yer mates on long voyages.

No reserve.

Postage: 8 pieces of 8

[goat starer]

Now Oive taken up a life on the Briney sea oi av fer sale...

1 house - pokey
1 donkey cart - donkey not included
1 wife

house and cart free to anyone brave enough to tak me wife!

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1% (Sorry Mum, I didn't know there were still rats living in the pockets!)
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

One family of ship's rats. Only one previous owner.  The big one's tail is missing arter an unfortunate incident with me mum's cleaver.

No reserve.

Postage: 8 pieces of 8

Also see my other items:

Genuine Pirate Treasure maps,
condition: used.

[Griffin NoName]

Seller: fishstewpotscousin
Feedback: 0.87% (Sorry Auntie, yer blaggard son wer allus the blacksheep!)
Member: Since 1764

Genuine Pirate Treasure maps,
condition: unused.

No guarantee on accuracy, take as unseen, owner collects, COC, Caymen Islands, ask fer Madamoiselle Lolita.

[Calico Jack]

Starting bid: 1 Groat
Or Buy Now 10 Groats

You are bidding on:

One Cooking Pot, previous owner Black Bart. This was the cooking pot which produced the infamous Fish Head Stew that wiped out half of Portsmouth in 96.

BUY WITH CONFIDENCE FROM AN ARBAY REGISTERED SELLER WITH 100% POSITIVE FEEDBACK.

I be accepting PirPal, Cheques but only if written with a quill on 18th Century parchment or 12 bottles of Grog.

[Black Bart]

Seller: fishstewpot
Feedback: 0.1%
Member: Since 1765

You are bidding for:

4 Buckets of Galley Slave chafing ointment.  For external use only.  Made from the finest ingredients.  Not tested on animals (apart from galley slaves). May cause a rash on first application due to high Fish Stew content.

No reserve.

Postage: 4 pieces of 8

Also see my other items:

BRAAAAAARRRGHSSO for shinin up those tarnished cannons and other fittings.  100% Calico body bags (weights not included).  Rat poison (alright it's just Fish Head Stew concentrate but it works!).

[DaveL]

Vendor: MarseilleXXX_Hot

Item: Madame Chantal's Gold Pass

Notes: Extremely valuable item for the pirate looking for more than a quick visit after disembarking. Access to all areas of Madame Chantals, including the notorious 'Count of Monte Christo Room', where the word 'solitary confinement' takes on new meaning.

A Madame Chantal's Gold Pass will redefine the word 'pain'. The entire girls ensemble will be on hand to give you 'lashings' of attention. Wow, was that an electric cattle prod I spied?

Return to your ship a changed man. Permanently.

PAYMENT: Dubloon on Delivery Only

Enquries from Monastical Football Teams are encouraged.

[Opsa]

Up fer Bid

Complete set of sails for a four-rigger and ketch.

All in a fetchin' shade of pink, wi' lavender lashins, trimmed wi' Chantilly-syle lace an' faux Zebra fur.

12 matchin' hammocks, 2 full staterooms of foine furniture and linens.

Enterpreneur takin' loss on stock fer the proposed "floatin' red loight districk" after makin' purchase of a ship arranged by Capt. Cronin.

Also available, assorted lots of frilly outfits, slinky dresses and negligable negligees, gen'rally in colors to match th' sails.

All offers considered, any mode of payment accepted, except cash transfer by Capt. Cronin.

Oid loik to start the bidding at seven dubloons (three of 'em's wooden) and an Archie McPhee Monkey Groan Ball. These would be noice gifts for the monks.

[The Black Spot]

You are bidding on:

One really big treasure chest. Full of gold and precious jewels. Worth loads of money. Quick sale means CronanCard an' PayLots are unacceptable. Cash only. Will arrange to meet winning bidder in dark alley behind Madame Fifi's. Make sure ye have the money with yer.