Pirate Parables

[Black Bart]

The Parable of the Ten Wenches

And lo there came a Pirate from the West of Esher who's name was 'Walktheplank' and his hair groweth not. But verily he placed a wyge upon his barren head and went forth to speak unto the people.

When many people had gathered before him they were filled with awe at his flowing locks and verily they asked for a tale to sooth their earthly woes. Then Walktheplank spoke in a voice full of pathos, some would say it was pathetic, and the many sat down and listened as one.

And lo the Pirate did tell them the Long Winded Parable of the Ten Wenches. These ten wenches went down to the docks to meet a pirate shype which had lately come to dock. Five of these wenches were foolish and five were slightly less foolish and all of the wenches were drunk and verily they fell asleep.

And as they slept upon the dock the Captain and his men did gaze down upon the wenches and the Captain spake: He that can tell me which of these wenches are the foolish ones and which are the less foolish shall have the first choice thereof. And the shype's carpenter did say: "My captain, the first 5 wenches on the left are the foolish ones for it is a chilly windy night I have observed that they have forgotten their undies.

The Captain was true to his word and verily the shype's carpenter did choose there of the 5 foolish wenches for he liketh what he saweth.

And at the end of this sermon the multitude did rise up and asketh Walktheplank:

What meaneth this parable? For verily we hath fallen asleep half way through.

And the Pirate rose up in great anger and smote the multitude saying: Payeth attention next time ye blaggards!