The Captain's Blog

[Griffin NoName]

Cap'ns Blog Uno-9-76

Yaaaar!! Oi's filled me first log book so Oi's started a new one an Oi's called it B seein as me other one was A. Oi opes I don't fill this one too quick as Oi's not sure what Oi'd call the next one.

The nites be drawin in an Oi ad ter light me ship's candles during daytime. The cost of candle's gon up sumthing rotten an Oi not be best pleesed. Oi as ter take on extra crew too ter relite em as every time wind gets up they blows out - it be a full time job keepin em burning. It be a terrible drain on me treesure chest an sometimes I wonder wevver it be werf keepin the deck lit just ter avoid all me crew bumpin inter each ovver in the dark.

[Black Bart]

Capn's Blog 11.10.76

Shore Leave agin.  Most o the crew disperse to visit their relatives in the clink.  I finds me way to an old tavern by the name o 'Le Vache Rouge'.  Used ta be called 'The Red Cow' but it's turned into a Gastropub and gone all froggy. I skulks in a dark corner eatin me Tarte au Pomme de Terre avec le boeuf grissle.  Suddenly, in between me frantic chewin, I overhears a familiar froggy voice in the next cubby hole...it be dastardly Captaine Lafitte plottin to poison me Fish Head Stew supply!  My hand reached fer me cutlass, but then I remembered I was already usin it to cut up me meat...belay that I thought, I needs ta use cunnin here.  I left the tavern disguised as a French Waitress...Dave L's a handy chap to know when it comes to dressin up in wench's garb!

[DaveL]

The Yar 1706

YArrrrr...

Th Admiral Benbow is indeed a foine establishment. Me an the lads have bin takin the trappist beers with great delight.

After a few rounds, Saucy Gert introduced us to a fine pastime known as KArrrrrr-e-oke. We wuz singing a whole heap of hits from the 80's (1680's) O'id conveniently forgotten.  Some of the songs the lads were beltin out included...

Eye of the Pirate - Surviv-arr
Take on me - Argggh Ha
Sweet Wench of Mine - Cannons and Roses

YArrrr..O'im going home to see if Oi can find me spandex gear. It's toime fer a revival...YArrrrr...

[Black Bart]

Capn's log Yarr date 17.11.70 (that be an Elton John album!)

YYAARRR I swaggered into the Admiral Benbow saying:
Ahoy me hearties how be they hangin?
I forgot I was still wearin me French Waitress outfit!!!!!
It be hard runnin for yer life with a skirt on!

[The Black Spot]

Arrr, that were you were it?

I remembers suppin me grog when I sees a right rough lookin' tart bein' chased out the door by a dozen o' me crew.

I hears that half o' them were screamin' fer their money back.

[Black Bart]

Capn's Blog Supplemental

YYYAAARRRRGH...luckily fer me the sex starved marauders caught up with Old Blind Mary the Fishmonger's crippled one legged mother...she was just behind me as I made a desperate lunge for me ship's gang plank!

YYYAARRRR...that Capn Lafitte will pay for this with his Frog's legs!!!

[Griffin NoName]

Bin confined ter me cabin all day wiv only an old copy of What Ter Do On Long Journeys. Ther dont be much they rekkon ye can do on yer own, wot wiv me crew busy on deck, but Oi ad sum fun wiv one or two ideas.

[Black Bart]

Capn's Blog Supplementary

Note to oneself:

Never, Ever enter 'The Admiral Benbow' dressed as a French Maid...
That sounds far too much loik innuendo...
Never go in to the drinking hestablishment named arter the esteemed Admiral Henry Fitzroy Benbow, dressed in a French Maid's attire!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

There be nuthin wrong with wearin me pink dress in there though. Oi hear Saucy Gert quite likes a bit of colour in the ole place.

[Black Bart]

ARRRRR, but ave ye entered the Admiral wearin it?!!!

[DaveL]

YArrrr...

Not likely. O hang there was this one time...YArrr.. never mind. 

[Griffin NoName]

Cap'ns Log 06-10-33

Truble wiv me wind-power. Becalmed in the English Channel. Sent First Mate off in the row boat to stop all em ovver ships pilin up be'ind us in the shippin lane. Not seen im since. It be nightfall soon. Oi rekkon e's jumped ship.

[Black Bart]

Capn's Blog Haloween

Gulp...it be haloween and I be skulkin in me cabin.  Last year the ghost o Capn Cronan appeared and demanded grog or he threatened to curse me ship!!!!
Luckily we'd just been to Antwerp and were carryin a cargo of Belgian beer and chocolate. We gave Cronan the beer, all 20 gallons of it.  Half an hour later, on the stroke o midnight the blaggard came back belchin loik Hercule Poirot and demandin the chocolate! It be toim fer an Exorcism!

[DaveL]

YArrr Date 10.11.1706

There be nuthin werse than wunderin'if Black Spot and Tansy are gonna take part in this years 'Yuletide Festivities'ie Blowin the crap out of Santa, midair.

Oi know that 3 billion children may want our 'guts for garters' but the thought of seein a big chubby bloke hit the water is worth the 400mm contraband ammunition Oi payed a dodgy weapons manufacturer from Transnistria.

Oi can't wait 

[Black Bart]

Capn's Blog yarr date: 10.11.76

YYAARRR in preparation fer the annual attempt to rid the world of Santa I be stirring up me crew fer action. As any good sea capn knows preparation be the secret to a successful raid.  I has planned a full scale naval excersise, a dummy run fer the real thing. What we needs is a target and I suggests any o the followin:

Scumsoft Elpdesk Headquarters
Inland Revenue Headquarters
Des O Connor

The only problem be how do we get em afloat?