Paranoia snark

[Alpaca]

Yesterday, at 11PM I got a pretty strange phone call. Apparently from a service called "poetry du jour," for which I most certainly did not sign up, it consisted of a girl reading a poem to me - e.e. cummings, but I was too busy scheming to figure out what the actual poem was.

So, I asked to unsubscribe, or speak to management, or something (I don't remember the precise flow of conversation), and there was a transfer, and then a disconnection, and then a call back, and another transfer - in short, I dealt with a number of professional-sounding people, making the thing sound legitimate. They asked me my name, and even asked me how to spell my last name when accessing my information in their (alleged?) computer. I ascertained that I was subscribed to the service on the basis of a gift subscription from my best friend, whose name they seemed to have trouble pronouncing, again lending the whole thing an air of legitimacy rather than prank call - especially since there wasn't anything particularly "prankish" anywhere in the nature of the whole thing. Satisfied that it was just my friend determined to bother me, I left a snide message on his Facebook and went to sleep:

Bitch.

What the fuck could have possibly possessed you to spend money to make somebody call me daily and read poetry? At 11 PM!? I thought the NSA was after me. Christ. (Or Crist, I guess.)

You are a whore.

Today:
I woke up to find a Facebook reply:

Ho.

I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Really, I don't.

Otherwise, things here are wonderful in Bulgaria, I'm alive and happy, etc., etc. Hope all is well in Tampa.

Dunno whether to believe him or not, since we tend to do annoying things to each other and then deny it vehemently, but it does give his statement credence that he is in Bulgaria - I took him to the airport myself. He's on an archaeological dig. It seems odd that in the middle of all that, he would call back to the US to order poetry read to me nightly.

After that, then, I decided to go snooping. I put the number into a reverse-lookup type site, which revealed that it originated in Cape Coral, Florida, which is a few hours south of here, and from a landline.

Two relevant pieces of information: 1. "Those damn kids these days" tend to rely exclusively on cell phones for interpersonal communication, and that would probably include potential prank calls. In any case, more evidence that they really were smart and knew what they were doing, or that the business is in fact legitimate.

2. On the opposite end of the suspicion spectrum, my same best friend's girlfriend lives in Cape Coral. She also sent me a text message that same day asking if I knew another kid's phone number (they both participate in Model United Nations, so it was a reasonable request). She also writes poetry and is an enormous fan of e.e. cummings. She also denied all knowledge of anything, and at no point did she seem to know more about it than I told her.

More snooping: Googling poetry du jour with or without various helpful phrases (florida, cape coral, phone) produced no useful or legitimacy-boosting results.

Final bothersome fact of today: I didn't get another phone call, seemingly in contradiction with the "du jour" nature of the alleged service.

Any advice on what to think or do about any of this, siblings?

[Scriblerus the Philosophe]

I think someone was playing with you.
And no, not everyone uses cell phones for prankage. I never did, I just blocked the return call. 
The Girlfriend has your number, his number, likes e.e. cummings, knows you do things to annoy each other and lives where the number traced back to. Perhaps she got a lot of people in on it and has a collection of elevator music.

[Darlica]

Call the number from a phone that blocks any attempt to the your return call. Listen to what they answer, you can always pretend that you have dialled the wrong number. If you are worried that she/they might recognise your voice put a handkerchief (or some other thin fabric) over the receiver, and lower or pitch your voice (depending on how you normally sound) or use an accent or both.

Yeah I've done my fair share of prank calls too. 

[Alpaca]

That was my initial theory, but what makes this odd is that it was handled so professionally when I went to find out more information, involved at least three people and telephone line transfers that sounded very much like they should, an appropriate degree of bumbling about looking things up in a computer, and there was nothing obviously funny or prank-like about the actual nature of the call. I don't much understand what the purpose could have possibly been, and the persons calling exhibited enough detachment and impersonality that they genuinely seemed not to know me or anything about me.

[pieces o nine]

Perhaps you could call them up and ask for the Complaints Department as you did not receive your allotted poem...

Rail about your rights as a Merrikin Consumer...

Where are you Voices in the Night!

Threaten to sic the BBB [Barrett-Browning Bureau] on them...

[Griffin NoName]

I'd call it, withholding my own number. Sounds like a prank well carried out. It would worry me though !

[beagle]

On the opposite end of the suspicion spectrum, my same best friend's girlfriend lives in Cape Coral. She also sent me a text message that same day asking if I knew another kid's phone number (they both participate in Model United Nations, so it was a reasonable request). She also writes poetry and is an enormous fan of e.e. cummings. She also denied all knowledge of anything, and at no point did she seem to know more about it than I told her.

Quite a lot of coincidences there. Time for another mention of my favourite Miss Marple quote. "You shouldn't believe what people say, it's very dangerous. I never have for years".

Otherwise if you had to call them back at any stage of this then the most likely scam it seems to me is that they are tricking you  into calling a premium rate number and then wait while they spend ages "delving in the computer".  Did they pronounce your friend's name so badly you ended up telling them it for them to repeat back at you (popular trick with dodgy clairvoyants...).

[Alpaca]

Otherwise if you had to call them back at any stage of this then the most likely scam it seems to me is that they are tricking you  into calling a premium rate number and then wait while they spend ages "delving in the computer".  Did they pronounce your friend's name so badly you ended up telling them it for them to repeat back at you (popular trick with dodgy clairvoyants...).

Nope, they called me back when the thing disconnected, and they definitely knew who they were talking about - no dodginess there.

I would have less suspicion about this if there was a remotely understandable rationale for a fake call with the contents that this one had.

[beagle]

You should definitely have paid attention to what the poem was. Perhaps your mate's girlfriend is getting lonely with him in Bulgaria, and it would be inexcusable not to offer consolation.