Come on then ye scurvy dogs. Give it yer worst, yer pack o' gibbering sea scum!
Okay, but we'll have to use the Toadfish Humbleness Pause Button.
Y'AAARRRGGGHHHH, yer brain be so tiny the plankton use it fer a toothpick!
Quote from: Opsanus tau on October 17, 2006, 09:42:30 PM
Okay, but we'll have to use the Toadfish Humbleness Pause Button.
Nay yer won't. This be the humblest thread there is! Ye give out insults in the knowledge that ye'll get the same (or worse) back.
What could be more 'umble than saying something that ye know ye'll be insulted for -- an' not caring!
Yer slack gobbed snot ball!
Ye wuldnt know ow ter be umble if yer wer Uriah Eap iself !
ye are all worthless piles of skunk droppings
Quote from: NoName on October 18, 2006, 03:04:47 AM
Ye wuldnt know ow ter be umble if yer wer Uriah Eap iself !
GGGAARRRR...They were a rubbish Heavy Metal band who's amplifier volume control only went up to 10...
Ye pile o goldfish silt!
I thought I'd find ye here, yer skanking shaft o' locust shells!
*YArrrr...think humbly offensive...humbly ofensive*
Yer bulbous nosed albatross dropping
GGGGGAAARRRR...Ye makes me peg leg itch ye scabious patch o infected walruss skin!
GAHHHH yer puffed up piece o' skunk bladder!
Quote from: The Black Spot on October 18, 2006, 01:03:21 AM
What could be more 'umble than saying something that ye know ye'll be insulted for -- an' not caring!
Point well took, ya oily rainbowed fart of a sea bass!
Yaaarrrr! Oi 'umbly submit ye be lower than a barnicle's bottom on Cap'n Cronin's flagship...
YArrr..
Yer as smelly as a fishmonger's drainpipe.
GARRRGGGGGGGHHHH yer great flabby whelk!
Take that back ye pathetic excuse fer a shipwrecked hamster!
Never! Ye rancid strip o' octopus guts!
Avast, ye washed up pile o cuttlefish nadgers!
Gah! Yer bag o' bloater offal!
You're a couple o' pirates short o' a full crew. ;D
An yer two pints short o' a hangover!
YYYAAARRRGH...the only hangover ye'll be avin is when ye'll be hangin-over the yardarm!
GArrrrrrrHHh! Ye slimy streak on the plimsol line!
YArrrr...
Yer a warty bottomed periwinkle dropping.
Have at ye, ye gust o eskimo breath!
ye lousy flea bitten maggot droppings
ye be fit fer naught but a bilge pump!
ARRRRRGHHH! Yer worthless bucket o' leper pus!
Yaaarr!
Yewse be nuthin' but a pus-ridden weevil brained spawn of a mutated newt.
Gah! Yer scabby faced puffin eater!
yah ye be a dung beetle living in what a elephant leaves behind.
GGGAAARRR...They say elephants never forget, but they'd make an exception when it comes to ye!
ARRRRR yer slovenly slug sucker!
I wont stand fer that ye blaggard...there be more karma in a pile o horse shite!
(Pirates...Karma...this is getting weird!)
yarrrr... The only time ye get kalmer is when ye's asleep, ye blotch faced cur!
Ye gaaaaaaaaaaarsplutterrrrrrrr!!
GGGAAARRR...It be one thing to insult a man...but to splutter on him, that be vile!
Ye squidgy bag o snot!
Ye still here? Yer fetid pus sucker!
BBBAAARRGH...Ye Varacous Vessel of Vile Vomit!
Gah! Ye senile dung swallowing toad molester!
YArrrr...
Ye big bag of pussy slug vomit.
What! Yer sticky ball o' camel phlegm!
Quote from: The Black Spot on November 03, 2006, 01:11:49 AM
Gah! Ye senile dung swallowing toad molester!
YYYAAARRRR...I has to admit it...when I was transportated to Oz I did take up Cane Toad licking...
but that be none o your business Ye flumptious heap o Fish Gut!
GARRRRRHH! Ye slug munchin' lumpfish!
Argh, when ye walk the plank ye look loik a girly on the catwalk!
Bah! When YE walk the plank it looks like a whelk balancin' on a lollystick!
AAARRR ye reminds me o Shakespeare...Should I compare thee to a Summer's day?...NO, ye rotting pile o left over Redde Cowwe Sandwiches!
'ows about oi compare ye tuh a soddin' compostin' heap o' rottin' whale blubber, yuh puss filled sack o' leather!
(edit) *silly side note:* Oi accudent'ly hit the 'spell check' insted o' the 'save' button. Whole durned thing lit up loike a Yule tree!
GGGAAARRRR...Ye are not worth the maggots what escape from our ship's biscuits!
ye are as spineless as a jellyfish
YYYYYAARRRR...I'll not have it...I be more loik a blancmange than a jellyfish! Ye dreadful stain o cat's pee on the deck!
Have at ye, yer swollen sack o' snails' innards!
ye be as ugly as a rhinosauras chewing a wasp
An ye be as ugly as the wasp after the rhino's finished with 'im.
GGGAAARRRRGH and ye be as ugly as the the wasp arter he's fallen to the ground and been pooped on by a passin elephant!
yaaarrrr an ye be as ugly as a wasp after the elephant as finished pooping on it an as stood on it
AAARRRRGH and ye be as ugly as the the wasp after he's fallen to the ground, been pooped an stood on by a passin elephant, an then eaten by a crow an shat out the other end!
Gaarrgh! When yer wuz born yer mother took one look, shouted "I musta bin mistook!", and reached fer the toilet paper!
GAH! An when ye were born the midwife were tryin' to shove yer back in!
GGGAARRRRR...and when ye were born they called in an excorcist thinkin ye were the antichrist! Turned out ye had three curly hairs a top yer head what looked loik 666...if only ye still ad em!
Gah! Ye has 666 on yer own head. 666 fleas yer blaggard!
GGGAAARRR ye made me come out all itchy ye revoltin pile o Spaniard's underpants!
Don't start scratchin' yerself. We'll all think we be in a snowstorm, yer stinkin' pig's nostril!
YYYYAAARRRR...sometimes when I be lookin out to sea at sunrise, it makes think o Shakespeare's sonnets...
and sometimes when I looks up at the sails billowin in a fine sow westerly, it makes me think o Keat's Couplets...
and when I sees yer blackened hulk lurchin into port, it makes me think o Jeffrey Archer's arse!!!!!
Gah! Yer look like ye's had a good wet sneeze an' fergot yer 'ankerchiff!
yarr what is that orrible appartion on top of yer neck. It be yer ead yer ugly blaggard.
GGGAAARRRR...I hear's ye went to the ship's doctor and he said 'ye have a very serious illness. Ye said 'I want a second opinion'. He said 'all right you're ugly as well'.
GGGGNNARR! I hears that when ye went to the doctor, 'ee tried t' lance yer head!
yarr I be earing bout a swab who when e went to is doctor's, e said let me remove that ugly boil fer yer Sir an with a quick swipe from is cutlass off came is ead.
GAHH! The last time ye had an operation, the surgeon had a bit o' a panic. 'Ee thought 'eed accidently left a bag o' spanners in yer face!
GGGGAAARRRHH...Ye got me so angry I be revertin to the use o Shakespeare agin:
A Horse, a horse, my Kingdom fer a horse...oh hang on a minute...ye look enough loik a horse to do the job!
NNNNNNNNRRRRR... ye looks like something that comes out o' a horse!
YYYYAAAARRRRR Ye make me vent my Shakespearian Spleen:
Some are born great, Some achieve greatness and some are a pile of Turbot droppings like ye!!!
Yarrrr! Well, ye be twice as helpful as Bustlin Brian, an' three times as wholesome as Fishe 'Ead Stewe!
YYYAAARRR...ERRRR...That be a complicated insult thar me hearty...I had to get me crew to study it fer hours to see if it were indeed an insult. Then I got me crew to sit down and work out a really nasty insult to send back. Arter 5 mintues they coame up with:
Ye be as gorgeous and hintelligent as our Captain!
yarr I be back after a while away from the board. Back to what, ye are all the same slimy, leech infested blaggards ye were b'fore.
Oi been wonderin' wher ye got yersel'...but Oi knowed yer wasn't kidnapped. One look'ud tell 'em that we'd ha nae paid tuppence ter get ye back, but moighte hev giv 'em a dubloon ter keep ye!! :o ;)
YYYYAAAARRR...Ye be nowt but a left over mince pie...made o minced bilge rats!
GAH! Yer still 'ere then, ye greasy haddock smellin' oaf!
Yarrr! Well ye'd know since ye obviously can't tell the diffrence b'tween yer epaulets and a pair o' kippers!
GGGGAAARRRR...ye be nowt but a stain on Walter Raleigh's codpiece!
ye all as less brains then the woodlice that live in me armpit.
Welcome back...Calico Jack, ye scabby faced son of a Sperm Whale!
Yarrr! Ye daft twit, 'e be no scabby faced son of a sperm whale, 'e be the slime growing owt o' the barnickle klingin t' th' bottom o' th' bellie of th' son of a sperm whale, en ye be microab livin on th' slime growin owt o' the barnickle klingin t' th' bottom o' th' bellie of th' son of a sperm whale!
Gah! YE can talk, yer drip nosed pus boil on a weevil's kneecap!
yer breath smells worse than a rugby players jockstrap.
HHHAARRRRGH...What be ye doin a sniffin at rugby palyers' jock straps yer purvurted son of a whelks arm pit!
Ye's got a pegleg with a kickstand.
GARRGH! Ye boil faced crutch rotter!
Yarrrr...
Yer breath is a smelly as a skunk with a BO problem.
Bah! Yer rancid pile o' seal blubber!
Is that a new nose in yer face or have some of yer warts formed a union?
Yer glass eye has a cork innit, ye bottlescarred mass o' bilge detritus!
Ye probably think that painting your peg leg pink will endear you to the wenches but yer lack of personal hygiene will at best attract soem shortsighted carrion flies.
Carrion flies? Yer one for the talkin.... Ye's got a wooden leg with real feet!
I know why you seem to be able to never get drunk. Yer beard absorbs 99.5% of every brew and the stale stench attracts the flies.
Who you callin' a stale wench, ye blistering hemorrhoid on a barnacle!
You talking about wenches. Ye havn't seen one for years cause they turn and run away once the enter your 3-mile stench zone.
YYYYAAAARRRRGH...Sufferin Barnacles if ye be lookin fer a wench...why don't ye join the Fish Wives like ye usually does...they smell better than ye!!!
Which Wench is going to come near you Bart you rancid lump of Dog Sick. yarrrrrrrrgggh I feel better for that.
YYYAARRRRR...Me cabin be full o wenches...ever since I started using...
'OLDE FISHE SPICE' (a Bart Industries Product - guaranted 100% Organic).
As fer ye...ye be as much use as Tottenham Hotspurs in a Semi Final!
Quote from: Black Bart on February 02, 2007, 02:41:31 PM'OLDE FISHE SPICE' (a Bart Industries Product - guaranted 100% Organic).
Aye, all foine organic ingredients.... toluene, benzo[a]pyrene, DDT, PCBs, and some dioxin to give it that special tang.
The only OLDE FISHE be in yer cabin - ye've got carp-heads for carpets and puffer-fish for pillows, ye rot-nosed filthmonger...
GGAARRR...Ye great rollickin fish wife...
Ye are supposed to be insultin me not givin me compliments! ;D
yarr watch yer lip pilchard brain or yer end up in the same place as a Suffolk Turkey
Happy Birthday to The Black Spot...ye great pile of ancient mariner's socks!
Gah! The last time they lit the candles on your birthday cake, everyone thought ye were aboard a fire ship.
yaaarrgh ye has a ugly wart it be stuck to the top of yer neck. It be yer head, yer pock faced weasel.
GGGAARRR...Ye look loik ye've been poached in a bucket o squid tentacles!
GRAAAGHHNNHH! Ye slimey scrapin's off Cronan's peg leg!
ye are a grizzled lump of locust droppings
YYYAAARRRR...Ye be the soppy parchment list o Capn Cronan's favourite boy bands!
Gah! Yer crusty handkerchief!
GGGAARRRRR...Sneeze...Retch...Phlegm...
me handerchief be very crusty, that I don't deny...
but ye be the greenies holdin it's tattered corners together!
Yer all as pretty as the stuff they scraped orf ol' Dick Cheney's leg veins, and twice as sticky!!
YYYAARRRGH and YYYYUCHYVVVY (as they say in Cymru) Ye knows how to fire a broadside o insults alright...but can ye take it back...ye flag wavin looney from Hilary Clinton's 'Second Life' Island!
Bart I not be saying that yer smell but a cricketers jockstrap after 3 hours batting in the heat of The West Indies is preferable to standing next to yer.
Don't ye talk to me about 'The West Indies' ye pasty faced blaggard...the last toim ye went there they thought ye were a giant stick of chalk!
Ye's one to talk. The last time I saw ye, me dog tried to bury yer.
yarrrgh the last time ye had a wash, Nelson was having a set to with some feeble French Sailors off the Spanish Main.
Blaggards...yer pile o rusty cannon balls!
Gah! Ye has a face like a skeleton in a hammock!
yarr I would not say yer weather beaten Spot but yer face looks like a dead prune.
GGGAARRRR...ye be the daddy of all Bilge Rats!
yarrgh I am not sure if this insult will get through the censors as it is so offensive but nothing else is appropriate.
ye Welsh git
Please allow me to humbly suggest that you might suck that back in with yer krill!
Yeah, how dare you insult gits like that, yer great big buckot o' fish head stew leftovers
YYYAARRRRR...he be right though...I be Welsh, can't argue with that...and I be a bit of a Git, I'll admit it...but at least I aint a:
Slick o walrus shite on the Ocean of Dispair!
Loik im!
Well at least 'e don't smell, ye great mouldering pile o' pulsating pus-filled putrescence
Ye be a narcissistic cantankerously caterwauling pus filled abomination.
Ye Blithering Blaggard!
Yer breath has th' stench of th' footbath at Old Biddy's Rest Home!!
YYYAAARRRR...Ye be roight matey...I must get some 'Scalerine'. Tis a By Product o the Stewe Brewin process and works wonders on yer breath...melts yer dentures an all though!
....Oh er yes...an Ye be about as handsome as Walruss with a wonky tusk!
HHHAAARRRR...Call that an eye patch yer lilly livererd plastic eye patch wearin scoundrel...
I's got a leather eye patch so thar!
How many mousetraps do you need to keep your beard from producing enough feed for the shipcats of all the fleet? Oh, I forgot, ye can't catch rats with traps.
Gah. Nuffink lives in yer own beard. Tis a solid lump o' snot.
GGGAAARRRR ye should know all about snot...BIG NOSE! (the simple ones were always the best).
yarr I hear the rats prefer to live in yer beard as it be dirtier than the bilge.
What's all this beard bollocks? I aint got a bleedin beard...even when I be impersonatin Principal Cullinane...Oh fiddlesticks I've hoisted meself on me own Petard!
...anyway Ye be all Wig an no Trousers!
I used to think ye had a wig yerself. Then I realised it were all the hairy bugs on yer head.
Ye Gods are ye lot still insultin each other? Ye be a pile of rat droppings singing into an empty bacardi breezer bottle.
BBBAAARRRRRGH...Ye be nowt but an Alcopop guzzlin blaggard!
GGGNNNARRRR! Yer slop drinkin' lump o' squid blubber!
Yarr ! Ye smell so bad the POOPdeck be offended !
BBBAAARRRR...Ye be as ugly over here as ye are over thar!
Get ye back to the fetid swamp that spawned ye !
Useless, why did you think it spat him out in the first place?
Avast...ye land lubberly locust
festerin' pile o' angler fish vomit....
Ye double barrelled landlubbin walruss nose!
ye be goin in circles ye one oared maggot
Arrr, stick it up yer porthole yer swabby swab!
ye couldna clone yer own Grandmother without makin her ginger!
Quote from: Black Bart on November 26, 2007, 01:38:21 PM
ye couldna clone yer own Grandmother without makin her ginger!
ye canna make an insult with any meanin' to it !!
Oi just called BC a son of a sideswiped sea serpent. Ya think he'll run me through?
Oi meant it affekshunitly.
YARR!!! YE THREE LEGGS BE PEGS AN ROTTIN' AT THAT!!!
G'ARRRGGGHH, run me through again an this toim don't make it tickle so much!
Arrrrrgh...ye has the Sword of Captain Feathersword!
Yarrrr...Ye've sat still so long, ye've got barnacles on your butt.
Are those barnacles growing out yer ears or are ye jest pleased ter see me?
Oi'd call ye a pea-wit, but Oi don't wanna insult peas.
I would not allow you even in the fish head stew
Oi shall waim ye right in the spirketting, ye swab!
You's face looks loike the barnacled butt o' a baboon.
You wouldn't know the difference between the battle o' Borodino an' a tiger's bum!
Arrrrr. Ye dunno yer windlass from yer cutlass.
Quote from: Swatopluk on January 22, 2008, 09:39:22 AM
I would not allow you even in the fish head stew
That be not so much an insult matey as being very good advice!
ya be poo poo hedd
With you on the hook, I couldn't even catch a shark without tastebuds.
Yer brain be no bigger than a prawn's eyeball !
ye hazza poopy poop dekk
na na
:P
My 'arrrght baint in hinsultin thee rest ov ye lot ternoight. Oi be wotchin one ov Errol Flynns' (me old cabbin bouy's) moshun pitchers, Thee Havenchurs ov Don Juan.
Errol, ye knows oi luvs ye, but wot self-respecktyin pyrate leapes hinto a doorway wiv a "ta-Da" jestchur? An ye does hit abitchewal, loike. 'As ye no shayme, man?
Also, 'ow many toimes as oi begged ye not ter rap a dresser scarrrghf arownd yer 'ead, lad, ye looks loike a roight git. Oi *begs* ye t'axe me fer fashun hadvyce. Ye may keepe thee verra noice tyghtes an ...
TAYKE YER LIPPES ORF THAT HUSSY THEE SO-CALLED-QUEEN ROIGHT THIS MINNIT!
... thass' roight, ye *better* be leevin thee Spanish Court, iffen ye knows wot be beste, ye two-tymin', dresser scarf warin', doorway posin', absent wivout leeve from thee Mad Moggies Revenge cabbin bouy/slash/hacktor ...
:piratetoadfish:
Feeling better now, Pieces? :mrgreen:
Not reely, no... :yar: