BFD

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

It will be a requirement to (pretend) read them in such fashion.

[Griffin NoName]

<true story>

1970 four of us drove into Russia from Finland (in a Swedish car). At the border the Russians took the car apart, found nothing of any interest to them, put the car back together again, then searched our rucksacks and got very excited about the books we had with us (sadly I cannot remember what they were). They spent ages leafing through them, stopping to read odd pages. Eventually they decided they were ok and we were alllowed over the border. They all read the books upside down. We did not comment.

About half a kilometer down the road, a huge crowd of ragged children over-ran the car so we had to stop. They managed to convey that we could pass if we gave them chewing gum. (sign language for chewing gum is not too hard). We did not have any, but they let is go anyway. I presume the Russians border officers spent so long searching us to prevent the smuggling of chewing gum into the country, or any seditious reference to upside down chewing gum which may be a sign of the devil.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

And having seen Ann Coulter and the Caribou Barbie (thanks, Scrib), I don't think  interbreeding would be possible, even with Viagra.

Well, seein' as how Coulter is not really female (ever notice her prominent adam's apple?  Something only found on male throats?  I rest my case...)

[Bluenose]

The George W Bush Memorial Library reminded me of a joke I once heard. (Told to me by a member of 3rd Battalion, The Parachute Regiment)

The Royal Marines were transporting the contents of their library from Poole to Lympstone, and the truck crashed. But it was alright, as neither book had been coloured in.... 

May I just recommend not repeating this in earshot of a bunch of Royal Marines in a pub. I got a quick (and painful) introduction into close-quarter combat techniques....

That reminds me af a true story related to me many years ago by a Naval officer who had attended some staff course or other at a British military establishment.

Apparently there were several officers sitting around the table one morning for breakfast, several with newspapers being read.  One of the course attendees was a Royal Marine officer who, wanting some jam to spread on his toast, noticed that the jam was in front of one of the paper readers and politely asked him to please pass the jam.  Silence, and a lack of jam passing ensued.  So the Marine asked, in a slightly louder voice "Please, pass the jam".  Again silence and no jam.  So the Marine asked a third time upon which the officer in question, quietly folded his newspaper and place it next to his plate and then looked up at the Marine with withering disdain and said "this is the 14th regiment of Queen's lowland wandering wankers" (or whatever) "and in this regiment we have a tradition that when a fellow officer is reading the newspaper at breakfast he is not to be disturbed". The Marine on hearing this, stood up, climbed up on his chair then onto the table and marched over to where the somewhat surprised Army officer was sitting, placed his spit polished hob nail boots on either side of his breakfast and, looking down said "well I'm in the Royal Marines, and in the Marines we have a tradition that when a fellow officer asks you to pass the jam...


you pass the f*cking jam!".



I believe that after this, the jam was passed when asked for.

[anthrobabe]

The George W Bush Memorial Library reminded me of a joke I once heard. (Told to me by a member of 3rd Battalion, The Parachute Regiment)

The Royal Marines were transporting the contents of their library from Poole to Lympstone, and the truck crashed. But it was alright, as neither book had been coloured in.... 

May I just recommend not repeating this in earshot of a bunch of Royal Marines in a pub. I got a quick (and painful) introduction into close-quarter combat techniques....

That reminds me af a true story related to me many years ago by a Naval officer who had attended some staff course or other at a British military establishment.

Apparently there were several officers sitting around the table one morning for breakfast, several with newspapers being read.  One of the course attendees was a Royal Marine officer who, wanting some jam to spread on his toast, noticed that the jam was in front of one of the paper readers and politely asked him to please pass the jam.  Silence, and a lack of jam passing ensued.  So the Marine asked, in a slightly louder voice "Please, pass the jam".  Again silence and no jam.  So the Marine asked a third time upon which the officer in question, quietly folded his newspaper and place it next to his plate and then looked up at the Marine with withering disdain and said "this is the 14th regiment of Queen's lowland wandering wankers" (or whatever) "and in this regiment we have a tradition that when a fellow officer is reading the newspaper at breakfast he is not to be disturbed". The Marine on hearing this, stood up, climbed up on his chair then onto the table and marched over to where the somewhat surprised Army officer was sitting, placed his spit polished hob nail boots on either side of his breakfast and, looking down said "well I'm in the Royal Marines, and in the Marines we have a tradition that when a fellow officer asks you to pass the jam...


you pass the f*cking jam!".



I believe that after this, the jam was passed when asked for.

OOOOO-ye haves Gerts hatention thar mateys
Shirtless Marines in barfights-- o them wuz tha dayz (an nites). Thar be  a Marine Corps Air Station in the Arizona Territory nearly Yuma  vacinity ya know and then there be that luverly place Camp Pendelton in California on the Western frontier--- old Gert haz run taverns in both places ye know.

[Aphos]

So - will we be seeing the first presidential library containing nothing but picture books?  No reading skill necessary.

[goat starer]

it might also have a complete library of janes Defence Weekly to be fair.

Although I suspect Dubya just points to the pictures and then points to a map to indicate where he would like them dropped.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

I though that Jane's Defense was a toy catalog for overcompensating generals, but it seems that there is analysis articles and other stuff with big words that would bore him to death.

It would work as a Vice-presidential library though.

[pieces o nine]

The Dick [sic] Cheney Vice Presidential Memorial Library has already been built in a secure and undisclosed location.

Funding was achieved by covertly diverting all those pallet-loads of cash which mysteriously disappeared during the Glorious Success in Exporting Democracy at the Point of a Rifle.