Haiti and Robertson

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I posted this here, because posting it is a kind of rant.  It's also a joke.

From an email making the rounds:

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

Right on the money.

[ivor]

OMG that was funny!  I wish I would get that so I could send it to everybody that's sending me "Holy" emails all the time...

[Swatopluk]

Some colleagues of Pat even try to outdo him.
One claimed that the contract with the devil would have expired in 2004 (his hellish majesty is nothing if not formal) but that president Aristide (who is catholic clergy by background) renewed it by making voodoo a state recognized religion. See you 2104 for the next renewal.

[Sibling Qwertyuiopasd]

and: http://www.theonion.com/content/infograph/gods_wrath_according_to_pat