Countdown to the Olympics

[Griffin NoName]

On my way to the Olympics I took a beard trimmer, a bilge pump, extra ammo or the bug sprayer, a rat trap, a flask of gin disguised to look like a London touring guide, £20 in silver, a Burberry raincoat,  a bag of Welsh pice ar y maen, an umbrella, an extra large lightsabre,  a Hungarian phrasebook, 3 ham sandwiches, 5 golden rings, an Advent calendar, the spare tire from a 1984 Volvo station wagon, salt pretzels, a tin of bickies, more water than I could drink, a Gestetner machine, a yard of sharp sand, 6 paving stones, a half-brick in a sock, a wedge of blue cheese, a tin of extra-virgin olive oil,  steel-capped shoes, a wetsuit,  a dry towel, a 36 pdr cannon, a microtome, a seventeenth century lute, toilet paper, real imitation catgut strings for the lute, ovaltine, a fake ID card identifying myself with a prominent gang of soccer hooligans, a bottleneck dolphin, Princess Beatrice's hat (used), a pin, a laundry basket, Sir John Falstaff, a bas-relief of Alexander the Great,  contraceptives, a chocolate teapot, a cotton bag, a VSS Vintorez sniper rifle, a Kindle Touch, breadrolls, an over-head reading light from seat 4A of a Boeing 747, Princess Leah Organia's hairstyle book, a motorcycle helmet, an ultra-bass low distortion pair of headphones, a carrier pigeon, a senior citizen bus pass, tablecloth, forty-three and a third strands of spaghetti, hot chili sauce,  a not-quite dead-yet Norwegian Blue--who is currently restin', all the Toadfish, a train ticket to notloB, The London Philharmonic Orchestra, no potatoes, Argentina, some auripigment, a chemical toilet, lipgloss, an extra large packet of condoms, a case of KY Jelly, a math textbook, a map of Armenia, a handful of caltrops, an ability to read instructions properly, lard, stain remover, a single mercury-free AAAA battery, earplugs, opera glasses,  matches, the Olympic Torch, paper napkins, spam, spam, spam and spam, a dirty fork, a DVD of The Meaning of Life, a grandfather clock, a tin of tuna, a naked molerat, an 8 candle candelabra, a wooden dradle, a wind-up fridge, Irish butter, clothes for the naked molerat, a comb,  a packet of extra large condoms, a pair of forceps, hot water, one of those towels that is super absorbent but folds up very small for travelling, salt, pepper, ersatz saccharine, an Espresso machine, serotonine, a thing for getting boy scouts out of horses' hooves,  some 4 inch nails, hand samitizer, 8 dowel pins, a model of a combine harvester, sun-blocker, flipflops, band-aid, a bag of jelly babies, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, written on a 3 foot by 5 foot poster, the words DON'T PANIC, iodoform, a vermilllion lipstick, freshly pressed orange juice, sleeping pills, earwax remover, hayfever tablets, a mouth organ, a remote control, batteries for the remote control, a thing to hold the batteries for the remote control, a spare IR LED for the remote control, one of those plastic things that holds several remote controls so they don't get lost, one genuine wool and hand-knitted argyle sock---conflict-free, naturally, a sgian-dubh (for the sock), a spare Macdonald kilt, a sporran for the kilt, patches and twine, a haystack with a needle in it, a magnet, enough cognac for all of us and some organically-grown wine--for anyone who cannot stomach cognac, dry cider (French style), a whetsone, an entry ticket for the Olympics, David's last line, hook and sinker, a bath plug, one of those portable stadium seats--with a polyurethane foam seat--covered in kidskin leather--hand-finished in your country's colors, an emergency IV bag,  some rubber tubing and a needle for the IV bag, a first-aid manual, a framed certificate showing first-aid qualification, a 'not my fault' card, a 'get out of jail free' card,  pen and paper, a good translation dictionary, a subscription to Private Eye, a Tardis to carry all this shtuff, a flux capacitor, parts for the mass in B minor, a visitor counter, smelling salts, all 3 seasons of Forbrydelsen carried by Sofie Gråbøl in that sweater, some brain bleach, a replica of the Turin shrowd, nail polish, a medium sized chamber pot embelished with Jubilee decorative art, a vuvzela in f, a Little Scientist™ home carbon-dating kit, Eau de Cologne,  a dog collar, flea powder, a jar of frankincense, the common book of prayer, an alarm clock, a large rock (for the alarm clock), a piece of string of uncertain length, duck tape, a thunderer whistle, a guide to seemingly illogical LPWB words, night vision goggles, a washing-up bowl, a washcloth, an extra-large container of baby-wipes--unscented, a walking stick,  a cigar cutter, a bear trap, a soldering iron, tweezers, a book of crosswords, a rubber/eraser, a teninis racquet, cat gut, a very nice chap called Kevin, Kevin's imaginary and invisible pink unicorn, a blue oyster pie,  an Oyster card, a chocolate Easter bunny, some roadkill, a portable stove, a silver cutlery set, a whetstone, a decent taste in women and TV programmes for Swato, more brain bleach to get rid of that, a solid brass hand cannon-- a 2 pounder, ammo for that, a rolling stone, an ox-cart to carry all that stuff, some moss for the rolling stone, fodder for the oxen, a pooper-scooper for after the oxen, a licence to drive an oxcart through London, a set of scales to ensure equal amounts of stuff go in the Tardis and the ox-cart, belts to securely fix the Tardis on the ox-cart, a sonic screwdriver; bluetooth edition, a microphone,  a loudspeaker, a wireless jammer, a pot of black currant jam, a spitoon, ten barfing bags, a spare IV drip stand, toothpaste, tin of black shoe polish, hand sanitizer, a plate of grits (the real thing, never instant), a thermos bottle, a medium bristle toothbrush, a bag of German jellybabies, the union john patrick, a four-man tent, ten little Indians, sneakers, one (1) live lion, a light sabre, a kettle, , candles, (a spare) candelabra, a Panama hat,  a grass skirt, antiallergic pills, a stun gun, an anvil, a lawn mower, a sledge-hammer, lavendar smelling salts, rubber soles, a thermometer, an industrial blender, a barometer, one pink fluffy Teddy Bear, a hygrometer, a pack of disposable self-flushing toilet seat covers, a hand-cranked grammophone, a book of prayers for men at sea, a book of sea songs, a sailor's pipe made of horn, a kicking and screaming fox, shampoo, a hair brush, an Olympic flag, a needle threader,  a box of assorted threads of differing colors, a bag of holding(TM), a set of knitting needles, a pencil sharpener, one gross of unsharp pencils, spare blades, an Indian rubber, a butterfly net, a shaving kit with unbreakable mirror, ten pounds of lard, a blond wig, a blue tie, a tennis raquet, a blow-dryer, a leaf sucker/blower, a 1950's vintage chemistry set-- with the extra sulfur bonus pack, a bottle of wow-wow sauce, a leg to stand on, Nordic Walking sticks, an inflatable vase, no cape!, a sharp stake, garlic spray, an electric jet ski, petrol, a woolly bobble hat, nylon gloves, a cuddly toy bear, a Russian Cossack hat--real beaverskin, a shashka, a sick note from the doctor, an 'I aten't dead' sign, a cat named Crookshanks, a first edition of the King Jame's Bible, a facsimile Magna Charta, an accounts ledger, horseradish (as shark repellant), a snuff box, a naginata, a ghostly ghost, a spirited spirit, dental floss,  a rubber dinghy, a life-sized skeleton, 3 packages of hardtack, a broken barometer, a magnifying glass, a rabbit's foot for luck, a fake tiger penis, some powdered rhino horn, A Tates* brand sextant, a bread-making machine, a bread-slicer, a jar of marmite, a pet marmot, a butter knife, tar and feathers, a parrot,  a large kettle  (to melt the tar), a pair of stilts, the collected works of Wilhelm Schüttelspeer, a dowsing rod, a rousing dot, a solar panel, moon boots, a facsimile of Lady Gaga being ordinary, a reed instrument, lederhosen, a 'No, I am not Bavarian' button, one baker's dozen of bavarian-creme filled donuts, a strong natural purgative, assorted Scotch eggs, a grouse whistle, a flask of distilled water, syrup, 100 vitamin C tablets, 101 antacid tablets, several packets of artificially-flavored salt tablets, enough aspartame to make cod liver oil popular in the US, 102 ampoules of vitamin B12, emergency emetics, rehydration salts, antibiotics, plaster of paris, a mahogany footstool, a rocking horse, the Encyclopedia Britannica printed in Braille, a packet of dehydrated instant water, oxygen monoxide, 10 toffee apples, 9 offal applets, a cheque book, a cash register, an american express card, a pony express memorial brooch, a stuffed lion, chicken pie, a policeman's truncheon, more lion food--for when the stuffed lion is not so stuffed as before, a lion tamer hat, a test tube, a dreamcatcher, a red-checked lumberjack shirt, the Monty Python Sings CD,  several coat hangers, some spare undies, an olive branch, soap, a white dove, a pack of stevia seeds, a back scratcher, a morse code machine, two pairs of binoculars, some sherbert fountains, orthopedic insoles, corn plasters, foie gras, a copy of The Oxford English Dictionary--compact edition, a grapnel, Superman and Roibin outfits, a longbow, a step ladder, a short bow, a 50 cl. 90% proof bottle of cloudberry vodka, 10 g of alcohol dehydrogenase from horse liver, a staple gun, a hamster leather thong, a spanner, a broom, extra staples, a plush pink elephant, a USB cable, a fire-wire, a portable fire extinguisher, a flame-thrower, an asbestos jacket, a box of safety-pins, a HEPA dust filter (for the asbestos), cough syrup, a pack of enlightenment cards, a quill from the left wing of a goose, a pint of blood for dipping the quill in, parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, sealing wax to seal the parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, a signet to put the seal on the sealing wax to seal the parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, a red ribbon to tie up the sealed parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood, insert next item here,a golden pendant to attach to the red ribbon tying up the sealed parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax, one (1) sheep--unsheared, two (2) goats with beard, a cardboard tube into which to insert the rolled up parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax to protect it from the crowds knocking it about, a stamp to put on the cardboard tube into which to insert the rolled up parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax to protect it from the crowds knocking it about, a set of Russian dolls, the newest Prussian polls, food handouts for any refugees met along the way, one zeppelin not made of lead, cow guts, an inflatable boat repair kit, a pair of oars, a 50 foot hemp rope, a bonsai tree, herbicide, a tupperware salad tosser, hook, line & sinker, one (1) male beta fish in a small crystal goblet full of water, a bag of green tea leaves, a shower proof cloak, a tear-off calendar, a cocktail stick, a pogo stick, a pink carnation and a rolled up newspaper for identification purposes, medical files, nail files, nail polish*, a fake Windows 95 CD, a Chinese to English dictionary-- made in China of course, Mao's little red book - made in NK, several copies of Pravda, circa 1984, some fake Prada stuff, a Blue Guide to London, Wensleydale cheese, a Pakamac, a vintage PacMan game, a lotus blossom, starwberry jam, a 1984 Lotus Esprit -- red of course, tetraethyl lead, a miniature lead soldier dressed as Napolean, ethylene glycol, a Fisherman's Friend, a handheld harpoon, some stomach and intestine tea-bags, a sword cane, a sharpening stone, whetting oil, an egg timer, 2 dozen swan eggs, a dozen quail eggs (in case you're just not that hungry),some ersatz caviar, a stopwatch, a gag, parcel tape, herbal disinfectant, a table tennis net, a halberd, a box of custom-printed funerary fans, black and white gloves, a bronze medal for women''s 400m freestyle swimming, a digital film camera, a non-dgital film camera as backup, a polaroid camera for instant gratification,  a miniature totem pole, a heffalump trap, lots of bags, a monkey wrench, aardvark feed, a powdered periwig, insert next item here

[Swatopluk]

On my way to the Olympics I took a beard trimmer, a bilge pump, extra ammo or the bug sprayer, a rat trap, a flask of gin disguised to look like a London touring guide, £20 in silver, a Burberry raincoat,  a bag of Welsh pice ar y maen, an umbrella, an extra large lightsabre,  a Hungarian phrasebook, 3 ham sandwiches, 5 golden rings, an Advent calendar, the spare tire from a 1984 Volvo station wagon, salt pretzels, a tin of bickies, more water than I could drink, a Gestetner machine, a yard of sharp sand, 6 paving stones, a half-brick in a sock, a wedge of blue cheese, a tin of extra-virgin olive oil,  steel-capped shoes, a wetsuit,  a dry towel, a 36 pdr cannon, a microtome, a seventeenth century lute, toilet paper, real imitation catgut strings for the lute, ovaltine, a fake ID card identifying myself with a prominent gang of soccer hooligans, a bottleneck dolphin, Princess Beatrice's hat (used), a pin, a laundry basket, Sir John Falstaff, a bas-relief of Alexander the Great,  contraceptives, a chocolate teapot, a cotton bag, a VSS Vintorez sniper rifle, a Kindle Touch, breadrolls, an over-head reading light from seat 4A of a Boeing 747, Princess Leah Organia's hairstyle book, a motorcycle helmet, an ultra-bass low distortion pair of headphones, a carrier pigeon, a senior citizen bus pass, tablecloth, forty-three and a third strands of spaghetti, hot chili sauce,  a not-quite dead-yet Norwegian Blue--who is currently restin', all the Toadfish, a train ticket to notloB, The London Philharmonic Orchestra, no potatoes, Argentina, some auripigment, a chemical toilet, lipgloss, an extra large packet of condoms, a case of KY Jelly, a math textbook, a map of Armenia, a handful of caltrops, an ability to read instructions properly, lard, stain remover, a single mercury-free AAAA battery, earplugs, opera glasses,  matches, the Olympic Torch, paper napkins, spam, spam, spam and spam, a dirty fork, a DVD of The Meaning of Life, a grandfather clock, a tin of tuna, a naked molerat, an 8 candle candelabra, a wooden dradle, a wind-up fridge, Irish butter, clothes for the naked molerat, a comb,  a packet of extra large condoms, a pair of forceps, hot water, one of those towels that is super absorbent but folds up very small for travelling, salt, pepper, ersatz saccharine, an Espresso machine, serotonine, a thing for getting boy scouts out of horses' hooves,  some 4 inch nails, hand samitizer, 8 dowel pins, a model of a combine harvester, sun-blocker, flipflops, band-aid, a bag of jelly babies, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, written on a 3 foot by 5 foot poster, the words DON'T PANIC, iodoform, a vermilllion lipstick, freshly pressed orange juice, sleeping pills, earwax remover, hayfever tablets, a mouth organ, a remote control, batteries for the remote control, a thing to hold the batteries for the remote control, a spare IR LED for the remote control, one of those plastic things that holds several remote controls so they don't get lost, one genuine wool and hand-knitted argyle sock---conflict-free, naturally, a sgian-dubh (for the sock), a spare Macdonald kilt, a sporran for the kilt, patches and twine, a haystack with a needle in it, a magnet, enough cognac for all of us and some organically-grown wine--for anyone who cannot stomach cognac, dry cider (French style), a whetsone, an entry ticket for the Olympics, David's last line, hook and sinker, a bath plug, one of those portable stadium seats--with a polyurethane foam seat--covered in kidskin leather--hand-finished in your country's colors, an emergency IV bag,  some rubber tubing and a needle for the IV bag, a first-aid manual, a framed certificate showing first-aid qualification, a 'not my fault' card, a 'get out of jail free' card,  pen and paper, a good translation dictionary, a subscription to Private Eye, a Tardis to carry all this shtuff, a flux capacitor, parts for the mass in B minor, a visitor counter, smelling salts, all 3 seasons of Forbrydelsen carried by Sofie Gråbøl in that sweater, some brain bleach, a replica of the Turin shrowd, nail polish, a medium sized chamber pot embelished with Jubilee decorative art, a vuvzela in f, a Little Scientist™ home carbon-dating kit, Eau de Cologne,  a dog collar, flea powder, a jar of frankincense, the common book of prayer, an alarm clock, a large rock (for the alarm clock), a piece of string of uncertain length, duck tape, a thunderer whistle, a guide to seemingly illogical LPWB words, night vision goggles, a washing-up bowl, a washcloth, an extra-large container of baby-wipes--unscented, a walking stick,  a cigar cutter, a bear trap, a soldering iron, tweezers, a book of crosswords, a rubber/eraser, a teninis racquet, cat gut, a very nice chap called Kevin, Kevin's imaginary and invisible pink unicorn, a blue oyster pie,  an Oyster card, a chocolate Easter bunny, some roadkill, a portable stove, a silver cutlery set, a whetstone, a decent taste in women and TV programmes for Swato, more brain bleach to get rid of that, a solid brass hand cannon-- a 2 pounder, ammo for that, a rolling stone, an ox-cart to carry all that stuff, some moss for the rolling stone, fodder for the oxen, a pooper-scooper for after the oxen, a licence to drive an oxcart through London, a set of scales to ensure equal amounts of stuff go in the Tardis and the ox-cart, belts to securely fix the Tardis on the ox-cart, a sonic screwdriver; bluetooth edition, a microphone,  a loudspeaker, a wireless jammer, a pot of black currant jam, a spitoon, ten barfing bags, a spare IV drip stand, toothpaste, tin of black shoe polish, hand sanitizer, a plate of grits (the real thing, never instant), a thermos bottle, a medium bristle toothbrush, a bag of German jellybabies, the union john patrick, a four-man tent, ten little Indians, sneakers, one (1) live lion, a light sabre, a kettle, , candles, (a spare) candelabra, a Panama hat,  a grass skirt, antiallergic pills, a stun gun, an anvil, a lawn mower, a sledge-hammer, lavendar smelling salts, rubber soles, a thermometer, an industrial blender, a barometer, one pink fluffy Teddy Bear, a hygrometer, a pack of disposable self-flushing toilet seat covers, a hand-cranked grammophone, a book of prayers for men at sea, a book of sea songs, a sailor's pipe made of horn, a kicking and screaming fox, shampoo, a hair brush, an Olympic flag, a needle threader,  a box of assorted threads of differing colors, a bag of holding(TM), a set of knitting needles, a pencil sharpener, one gross of unsharp pencils, spare blades, an Indian rubber, a butterfly net, a shaving kit with unbreakable mirror, ten pounds of lard, a blond wig, a blue tie, a tennis raquet, a blow-dryer, a leaf sucker/blower, a 1950's vintage chemistry set-- with the extra sulfur bonus pack, a bottle of wow-wow sauce, a leg to stand on, Nordic Walking sticks, an inflatable vase, no cape!, a sharp stake, garlic spray, an electric jet ski, petrol, a woolly bobble hat, nylon gloves, a cuddly toy bear, a Russian Cossack hat--real beaverskin, a shashka, a sick note from the doctor, an 'I aten't dead' sign, a cat named Crookshanks, a first edition of the King Jame's Bible, a facsimile Magna Charta, an accounts ledger, horseradish (as shark repellant), a snuff box, a naginata, a ghostly ghost, a spirited spirit, dental floss,  a rubber dinghy, a life-sized skeleton, 3 packages of hardtack, a broken barometer, a magnifying glass, a rabbit's foot for luck, a fake tiger penis, some powdered rhino horn, A Tates* brand sextant, a bread-making machine, a bread-slicer, a jar of marmite, a pet marmot, a butter knife, tar and feathers, a parrot,  a large kettle  (to melt the tar), a pair of stilts, the collected works of Wilhelm Schüttelspeer, a dowsing rod, a rousing dot, a solar panel, moon boots, a facsimile of Lady Gaga being ordinary, a reed instrument, lederhosen, a 'No, I am not Bavarian' button, one baker's dozen of bavarian-creme filled donuts, a strong natural purgative, assorted Scotch eggs, a grouse whistle, a flask of distilled water, syrup, 100 vitamin C tablets, 101 antacid tablets, several packets of artificially-flavored salt tablets, enough aspartame to make cod liver oil popular in the US, 102 ampoules of vitamin B12, emergency emetics, rehydration salts, antibiotics, plaster of paris, a mahogany footstool, a rocking horse, the Encyclopedia Britannica printed in Braille, a packet of dehydrated instant water, oxygen monoxide, 10 toffee apples, 9 offal applets, a cheque book, a cash register, an american express card, a pony express memorial brooch, a stuffed lion, chicken pie, a policeman's truncheon, more lion food--for when the stuffed lion is not so stuffed as before, a lion tamer hat, a test tube, a dreamcatcher, a red-checked lumberjack shirt, the Monty Python Sings CD,  several coat hangers, some spare undies, an olive branch, soap, a white dove, a pack of stevia seeds, a back scratcher, a morse code machine, two pairs of binoculars, some sherbert fountains, orthopedic insoles, corn plasters, foie gras, a copy of The Oxford English Dictionary--compact edition, a grapnel, Superman and Roibin outfits, a longbow, a step ladder, a short bow, a 50 cl. 90% proof bottle of cloudberry vodka, 10 g of alcohol dehydrogenase from horse liver, a staple gun, a hamster leather thong, a spanner, a broom, extra staples, a plush pink elephant, a USB cable, a fire-wire, a portable fire extinguisher, a flame-thrower, an asbestos jacket, a box of safety-pins, a HEPA dust filter (for the asbestos), cough syrup, a pack of enlightenment cards, a quill from the left wing of a goose, a pint of blood for dipping the quill in, parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, sealing wax to seal the parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, a signet to put the seal on the sealing wax to seal the parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, a red ribbon to tie up the sealed parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood, insert next item here,a golden pendant to attach to the red ribbon tying up the sealed parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax, one (1) sheep--unsheared, two (2) goats with beard, a cardboard tube into which to insert the rolled up parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax to protect it from the crowds knocking it about, a stamp to put on the cardboard tube into which to insert the rolled up parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax to protect it from the crowds knocking it about, a set of Russian dolls, the newest Prussian polls, food handouts for any refugees met along the way, one zeppelin not made of lead, cow guts, an inflatable boat repair kit, a pair of oars, a 50 foot hemp rope, a bonsai tree, herbicide, a tupperware salad tosser, hook, line & sinker, one (1) male beta fish in a small crystal goblet full of water, a bag of green tea leaves, a shower proof cloak, a tear-off calendar, a cocktail stick, a pogo stick, a pink carnation and a rolled up newspaper for identification purposes, medical files, nail files, nail polish*, a fake Windows 95 CD, a Chinese to English dictionary-- made in China of course, Mao's little red book - made in NK, several copies of Pravda, circa 1984, some fake Prada stuff, a Blue Guide to London, Wensleydale cheese, a Pakamac, a vintage PacMan game, a lotus blossom, starwberry jam, a 1984 Lotus Esprit -- red of course, tetraethyl lead, a miniature lead soldier dressed as Napolean, ethylene glycol, a Fisherman's Friend, a handheld harpoon, some stomach and intestine tea-bags, a sword cane, a sharpening stone, whetting oil, an egg timer, 2 dozen swan eggs, a dozen quail eggs (in case you're just not that hungry),some ersatz caviar, a stopwatch, a gag, parcel tape, herbal disinfectant, a table tennis net, a halberd, a box of custom-printed funerary fans, black and white gloves, a bronze medal for women''s 400m freestyle swimming, a digital film camera, a non-dgital film camera as backup, a polaroid camera for instant gratification,  a miniature totem pole, a heffalump trap, lots of bags, a monkey wrench, aardvark feed, a powdered periwig, orthotic inserts, insert next item here

[Griffin NoName]

On my way to the Olympics I took a beard trimmer, a bilge pump, extra ammo or the bug sprayer, a rat trap, a flask of gin disguised to look like a London touring guide, £20 in silver, a Burberry raincoat,  a bag of Welsh pice ar y maen, an umbrella, an extra large lightsabre,  a Hungarian phrasebook, 3 ham sandwiches, 5 golden rings, an Advent calendar, the spare tire from a 1984 Volvo station wagon, salt pretzels, a tin of bickies, more water than I could drink, a Gestetner machine, a yard of sharp sand, 6 paving stones, a half-brick in a sock, a wedge of blue cheese, a tin of extra-virgin olive oil,  steel-capped shoes, a wetsuit,  a dry towel, a 36 pdr cannon, a microtome, a seventeenth century lute, toilet paper, real imitation catgut strings for the lute, ovaltine, a fake ID card identifying myself with a prominent gang of soccer hooligans, a bottleneck dolphin, Princess Beatrice's hat (used), a pin, a laundry basket, Sir John Falstaff, a bas-relief of Alexander the Great,  contraceptives, a chocolate teapot, a cotton bag, a VSS Vintorez sniper rifle, a Kindle Touch, breadrolls, an over-head reading light from seat 4A of a Boeing 747, Princess Leah Organia's hairstyle book, a motorcycle helmet, an ultra-bass low distortion pair of headphones, a carrier pigeon, a senior citizen bus pass, tablecloth, forty-three and a third strands of spaghetti, hot chili sauce,  a not-quite dead-yet Norwegian Blue--who is currently restin', all the Toadfish, a train ticket to notloB, The London Philharmonic Orchestra, no potatoes, Argentina, some auripigment, a chemical toilet, lipgloss, an extra large packet of condoms, a case of KY Jelly, a math textbook, a map of Armenia, a handful of caltrops, an ability to read instructions properly, lard, stain remover, a single mercury-free AAAA battery, earplugs, opera glasses,  matches, the Olympic Torch, paper napkins, spam, spam, spam and spam, a dirty fork, a DVD of The Meaning of Life, a grandfather clock, a tin of tuna, a naked molerat, an 8 candle candelabra, a wooden dradle, a wind-up fridge, Irish butter, clothes for the naked molerat, a comb,  a packet of extra large condoms, a pair of forceps, hot water, one of those towels that is super absorbent but folds up very small for travelling, salt, pepper, ersatz saccharine, an Espresso machine, serotonine, a thing for getting boy scouts out of horses' hooves,  some 4 inch nails, hand samitizer, 8 dowel pins, a model of a combine harvester, sun-blocker, flipflops, band-aid, a bag of jelly babies, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, written on a 3 foot by 5 foot poster, the words DON'T PANIC, iodoform, a vermilllion lipstick, freshly pressed orange juice, sleeping pills, earwax remover, hayfever tablets, a mouth organ, a remote control, batteries for the remote control, a thing to hold the batteries for the remote control, a spare IR LED for the remote control, one of those plastic things that holds several remote controls so they don't get lost, one genuine wool and hand-knitted argyle sock---conflict-free, naturally, a sgian-dubh (for the sock), a spare Macdonald kilt, a sporran for the kilt, patches and twine, a haystack with a needle in it, a magnet, enough cognac for all of us and some organically-grown wine--for anyone who cannot stomach cognac, dry cider (French style), a whetsone, an entry ticket for the Olympics, David's last line, hook and sinker, a bath plug, one of those portable stadium seats--with a polyurethane foam seat--covered in kidskin leather--hand-finished in your country's colors, an emergency IV bag,  some rubber tubing and a needle for the IV bag, a first-aid manual, a framed certificate showing first-aid qualification, a 'not my fault' card, a 'get out of jail free' card,  pen and paper, a good translation dictionary, a subscription to Private Eye, a Tardis to carry all this shtuff, a flux capacitor, parts for the mass in B minor, a visitor counter, smelling salts, all 3 seasons of Forbrydelsen carried by Sofie Gråbøl in that sweater, some brain bleach, a replica of the Turin shrowd, nail polish, a medium sized chamber pot embelished with Jubilee decorative art, a vuvzela in f, a Little Scientist™ home carbon-dating kit, Eau de Cologne,  a dog collar, flea powder, a jar of frankincense, the common book of prayer, an alarm clock, a large rock (for the alarm clock), a piece of string of uncertain length, duck tape, a thunderer whistle, a guide to seemingly illogical LPWB words, night vision goggles, a washing-up bowl, a washcloth, an extra-large container of baby-wipes--unscented, a walking stick,  a cigar cutter, a bear trap, a soldering iron, tweezers, a book of crosswords, a rubber/eraser, a teninis racquet, cat gut, a very nice chap called Kevin, Kevin's imaginary and invisible pink unicorn, a blue oyster pie,  an Oyster card, a chocolate Easter bunny, some roadkill, a portable stove, a silver cutlery set, a whetstone, a decent taste in women and TV programmes for Swato, more brain bleach to get rid of that, a solid brass hand cannon-- a 2 pounder, ammo for that, a rolling stone, an ox-cart to carry all that stuff, some moss for the rolling stone, fodder for the oxen, a pooper-scooper for after the oxen, a licence to drive an oxcart through London, a set of scales to ensure equal amounts of stuff go in the Tardis and the ox-cart, belts to securely fix the Tardis on the ox-cart, a sonic screwdriver; bluetooth edition, a microphone,  a loudspeaker, a wireless jammer, a pot of black currant jam, a spitoon, ten barfing bags, a spare IV drip stand, toothpaste, tin of black shoe polish, hand sanitizer, a plate of grits (the real thing, never instant), a thermos bottle, a medium bristle toothbrush, a bag of German jellybabies, the union john patrick, a four-man tent, ten little Indians, sneakers, one (1) live lion, a light sabre, a kettle, , candles, (a spare) candelabra, a Panama hat,  a grass skirt, antiallergic pills, a stun gun, an anvil, a lawn mower, a sledge-hammer, lavendar smelling salts, rubber soles, a thermometer, an industrial blender, a barometer, one pink fluffy Teddy Bear, a hygrometer, a pack of disposable self-flushing toilet seat covers, a hand-cranked grammophone, a book of prayers for men at sea, a book of sea songs, a sailor's pipe made of horn, a kicking and screaming fox, shampoo, a hair brush, an Olympic flag, a needle threader,  a box of assorted threads of differing colors, a bag of holding(TM), a set of knitting needles, a pencil sharpener, one gross of unsharp pencils, spare blades, an Indian rubber, a butterfly net, a shaving kit with unbreakable mirror, ten pounds of lard, a blond wig, a blue tie, a tennis raquet, a blow-dryer, a leaf sucker/blower, a 1950's vintage chemistry set-- with the extra sulfur bonus pack, a bottle of wow-wow sauce, a leg to stand on, Nordic Walking sticks, an inflatable vase, no cape!, a sharp stake, garlic spray, an electric jet ski, petrol, a woolly bobble hat, nylon gloves, a cuddly toy bear, a Russian Cossack hat--real beaverskin, a shashka, a sick note from the doctor, an 'I aten't dead' sign, a cat named Crookshanks, a first edition of the King Jame's Bible, a facsimile Magna Charta, an accounts ledger, horseradish (as shark repellant), a snuff box, a naginata, a ghostly ghost, a spirited spirit, dental floss,  a rubber dinghy, a life-sized skeleton, 3 packages of hardtack, a broken barometer, a magnifying glass, a rabbit's foot for luck, a fake tiger penis, some powdered rhino horn, A Tates* brand sextant, a bread-making machine, a bread-slicer, a jar of marmite, a pet marmot, a butter knife, tar and feathers, a parrot,  a large kettle  (to melt the tar), a pair of stilts, the collected works of Wilhelm Schüttelspeer, a dowsing rod, a rousing dot, a solar panel, moon boots, a facsimile of Lady Gaga being ordinary, a reed instrument, lederhosen, a 'No, I am not Bavarian' button, one baker's dozen of bavarian-creme filled donuts, a strong natural purgative, assorted Scotch eggs, a grouse whistle, a flask of distilled water, syrup, 100 vitamin C tablets, 101 antacid tablets, several packets of artificially-flavored salt tablets, enough aspartame to make cod liver oil popular in the US, 102 ampoules of vitamin B12, emergency emetics, rehydration salts, antibiotics, plaster of paris, a mahogany footstool, a rocking horse, the Encyclopedia Britannica printed in Braille, a packet of dehydrated instant water, oxygen monoxide, 10 toffee apples, 9 offal applets, a cheque book, a cash register, an american express card, a pony express memorial brooch, a stuffed lion, chicken pie, a policeman's truncheon, more lion food--for when the stuffed lion is not so stuffed as before, a lion tamer hat, a test tube, a dreamcatcher, a red-checked lumberjack shirt, the Monty Python Sings CD,  several coat hangers, some spare undies, an olive branch, soap, a white dove, a pack of stevia seeds, a back scratcher, a morse code machine, two pairs of binoculars, some sherbert fountains, orthopedic insoles, corn plasters, foie gras, a copy of The Oxford English Dictionary--compact edition, a grapnel, Superman and Roibin outfits, a longbow, a step ladder, a short bow, a 50 cl. 90% proof bottle of cloudberry vodka, 10 g of alcohol dehydrogenase from horse liver, a staple gun, a hamster leather thong, a spanner, a broom, extra staples, a plush pink elephant, a USB cable, a fire-wire, a portable fire extinguisher, a flame-thrower, an asbestos jacket, a box of safety-pins, a HEPA dust filter (for the asbestos), cough syrup, a pack of enlightenment cards, a quill from the left wing of a goose, a pint of blood for dipping the quill in, parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, sealing wax to seal the parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, a signet to put the seal on the sealing wax to seal the parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, a red ribbon to tie up the sealed parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood, insert next item here,a golden pendant to attach to the red ribbon tying up the sealed parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax, one (1) sheep--unsheared, two (2) goats with beard, a cardboard tube into which to insert the rolled up parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax to protect it from the crowds knocking it about, a stamp to put on the cardboard tube into which to insert the rolled up parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax to protect it from the crowds knocking it about, a set of Russian dolls, the newest Prussian polls, food handouts for any refugees met along the way, one zeppelin not made of lead, cow guts, an inflatable boat repair kit, a pair of oars, a 50 foot hemp rope, a bonsai tree, herbicide, a tupperware salad tosser, hook, line & sinker, one (1) male beta fish in a small crystal goblet full of water, a bag of green tea leaves, a shower proof cloak, a tear-off calendar, a cocktail stick, a pogo stick, a pink carnation and a rolled up newspaper for identification purposes, medical files, nail files, nail polish*, a fake Windows 95 CD, a Chinese to English dictionary-- made in China of course, Mao's little red book - made in NK, several copies of Pravda, circa 1984, some fake Prada stuff, a Blue Guide to London, Wensleydale cheese, a Pakamac, a vintage PacMan game, a lotus blossom, starwberry jam, a 1984 Lotus Esprit -- red of course, tetraethyl lead, a miniature lead soldier dressed as Napolean, ethylene glycol, a Fisherman's Friend, a handheld harpoon, some stomach and intestine tea-bags, a sword cane, a sharpening stone, whetting oil, an egg timer, 2 dozen swan eggs, a dozen quail eggs (in case you're just not that hungry),some ersatz caviar, a stopwatch, a gag, parcel tape, herbal disinfectant, a table tennis net, a halberd, a box of custom-printed funerary fans, black and white gloves, a bronze medal for women''s 400m freestyle swimming, a digital film camera, a non-dgital film camera as backup, a polaroid camera for instant gratification,  a miniature totem pole, a heffalump trap, lots of bags, a monkey wrench, aardvark feed, a powdered periwig, orthotic inserts, a runcible spoon, insert next item here

[Swatopluk]

On my way to the Olympics I took a beard trimmer, a bilge pump, extra ammo or the bug sprayer, a rat trap, a flask of gin disguised to look like a London touring guide, £20 in silver, a Burberry raincoat,  a bag of Welsh pice ar y maen, an umbrella, an extra large lightsabre,  a Hungarian phrasebook, 3 ham sandwiches, 5 golden rings, an Advent calendar, the spare tire from a 1984 Volvo station wagon, salt pretzels, a tin of bickies, more water than I could drink, a Gestetner machine, a yard of sharp sand, 6 paving stones, a half-brick in a sock, a wedge of blue cheese, a tin of extra-virgin olive oil,  steel-capped shoes, a wetsuit,  a dry towel, a 36 pdr cannon, a microtome, a seventeenth century lute, toilet paper, real imitation catgut strings for the lute, ovaltine, a fake ID card identifying myself with a prominent gang of soccer hooligans, a bottleneck dolphin, Princess Beatrice's hat (used), a pin, a laundry basket, Sir John Falstaff, a bas-relief of Alexander the Great,  contraceptives, a chocolate teapot, a cotton bag, a VSS Vintorez sniper rifle, a Kindle Touch, breadrolls, an over-head reading light from seat 4A of a Boeing 747, Princess Leah Organia's hairstyle book, a motorcycle helmet, an ultra-bass low distortion pair of headphones, a carrier pigeon, a senior citizen bus pass, tablecloth, forty-three and a third strands of spaghetti, hot chili sauce,  a not-quite dead-yet Norwegian Blue--who is currently restin', all the Toadfish, a train ticket to notloB, The London Philharmonic Orchestra, no potatoes, Argentina, some auripigment, a chemical toilet, lipgloss, an extra large packet of condoms, a case of KY Jelly, a math textbook, a map of Armenia, a handful of caltrops, an ability to read instructions properly, lard, stain remover, a single mercury-free AAAA battery, earplugs, opera glasses,  matches, the Olympic Torch, paper napkins, spam, spam, spam and spam, a dirty fork, a DVD of The Meaning of Life, a grandfather clock, a tin of tuna, a naked molerat, an 8 candle candelabra, a wooden dradle, a wind-up fridge, Irish butter, clothes for the naked molerat, a comb,  a packet of extra large condoms, a pair of forceps, hot water, one of those towels that is super absorbent but folds up very small for travelling, salt, pepper, ersatz saccharine, an Espresso machine, serotonine, a thing for getting boy scouts out of horses' hooves,  some 4 inch nails, hand samitizer, 8 dowel pins, a model of a combine harvester, sun-blocker, flipflops, band-aid, a bag of jelly babies, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, written on a 3 foot by 5 foot poster, the words DON'T PANIC, iodoform, a vermilllion lipstick, freshly pressed orange juice, sleeping pills, earwax remover, hayfever tablets, a mouth organ, a remote control, batteries for the remote control, a thing to hold the batteries for the remote control, a spare IR LED for the remote control, one of those plastic things that holds several remote controls so they don't get lost, one genuine wool and hand-knitted argyle sock---conflict-free, naturally, a sgian-dubh (for the sock), a spare Macdonald kilt, a sporran for the kilt, patches and twine, a haystack with a needle in it, a magnet, enough cognac for all of us and some organically-grown wine--for anyone who cannot stomach cognac, dry cider (French style), a whetsone, an entry ticket for the Olympics, David's last line, hook and sinker, a bath plug, one of those portable stadium seats--with a polyurethane foam seat--covered in kidskin leather--hand-finished in your country's colors, an emergency IV bag,  some rubber tubing and a needle for the IV bag, a first-aid manual, a framed certificate showing first-aid qualification, a 'not my fault' card, a 'get out of jail free' card,  pen and paper, a good translation dictionary, a subscription to Private Eye, a Tardis to carry all this shtuff, a flux capacitor, parts for the mass in B minor, a visitor counter, smelling salts, all 3 seasons of Forbrydelsen carried by Sofie Gråbøl in that sweater, some brain bleach, a replica of the Turin shrowd, nail polish, a medium sized chamber pot embelished with Jubilee decorative art, a vuvzela in f, a Little Scientist™ home carbon-dating kit, Eau de Cologne,  a dog collar, flea powder, a jar of frankincense, the common book of prayer, an alarm clock, a large rock (for the alarm clock), a piece of string of uncertain length, duck tape, a thunderer whistle, a guide to seemingly illogical LPWB words, night vision goggles, a washing-up bowl, a washcloth, an extra-large container of baby-wipes--unscented, a walking stick,  a cigar cutter, a bear trap, a soldering iron, tweezers, a book of crosswords, a rubber/eraser, a teninis racquet, cat gut, a very nice chap called Kevin, Kevin's imaginary and invisible pink unicorn, a blue oyster pie,  an Oyster card, a chocolate Easter bunny, some roadkill, a portable stove, a silver cutlery set, a whetstone, a decent taste in women and TV programmes for Swato, more brain bleach to get rid of that, a solid brass hand cannon-- a 2 pounder, ammo for that, a rolling stone, an ox-cart to carry all that stuff, some moss for the rolling stone, fodder for the oxen, a pooper-scooper for after the oxen, a licence to drive an oxcart through London, a set of scales to ensure equal amounts of stuff go in the Tardis and the ox-cart, belts to securely fix the Tardis on the ox-cart, a sonic screwdriver; bluetooth edition, a microphone,  a loudspeaker, a wireless jammer, a pot of black currant jam, a spitoon, ten barfing bags, a spare IV drip stand, toothpaste, tin of black shoe polish, hand sanitizer, a plate of grits (the real thing, never instant), a thermos bottle, a medium bristle toothbrush, a bag of German jellybabies, the union john patrick, a four-man tent, ten little Indians, sneakers, one (1) live lion, a light sabre, a kettle, , candles, (a spare) candelabra, a Panama hat,  a grass skirt, antiallergic pills, a stun gun, an anvil, a lawn mower, a sledge-hammer, lavendar smelling salts, rubber soles, a thermometer, an industrial blender, a barometer, one pink fluffy Teddy Bear, a hygrometer, a pack of disposable self-flushing toilet seat covers, a hand-cranked grammophone, a book of prayers for men at sea, a book of sea songs, a sailor's pipe made of horn, a kicking and screaming fox, shampoo, a hair brush, an Olympic flag, a needle threader,  a box of assorted threads of differing colors, a bag of holding(TM), a set of knitting needles, a pencil sharpener, one gross of unsharp pencils, spare blades, an Indian rubber, a butterfly net, a shaving kit with unbreakable mirror, ten pounds of lard, a blond wig, a blue tie, a tennis raquet, a blow-dryer, a leaf sucker/blower, a 1950's vintage chemistry set-- with the extra sulfur bonus pack, a bottle of wow-wow sauce, a leg to stand on, Nordic Walking sticks, an inflatable vase, no cape!, a sharp stake, garlic spray, an electric jet ski, petrol, a woolly bobble hat, nylon gloves, a cuddly toy bear, a Russian Cossack hat--real beaverskin, a shashka, a sick note from the doctor, an 'I aten't dead' sign, a cat named Crookshanks, a first edition of the King Jame's Bible, a facsimile Magna Charta, an accounts ledger, horseradish (as shark repellant), a snuff box, a naginata, a ghostly ghost, a spirited spirit, dental floss,  a rubber dinghy, a life-sized skeleton, 3 packages of hardtack, a broken barometer, a magnifying glass, a rabbit's foot for luck, a fake tiger penis, some powdered rhino horn, A Tates* brand sextant, a bread-making machine, a bread-slicer, a jar of marmite, a pet marmot, a butter knife, tar and feathers, a parrot,  a large kettle  (to melt the tar), a pair of stilts, the collected works of Wilhelm Schüttelspeer, a dowsing rod, a rousing dot, a solar panel, moon boots, a facsimile of Lady Gaga being ordinary, a reed instrument, lederhosen, a 'No, I am not Bavarian' button, one baker's dozen of bavarian-creme filled donuts, a strong natural purgative, assorted Scotch eggs, a grouse whistle, a flask of distilled water, syrup, 100 vitamin C tablets, 101 antacid tablets, several packets of artificially-flavored salt tablets, enough aspartame to make cod liver oil popular in the US, 102 ampoules of vitamin B12, emergency emetics, rehydration salts, antibiotics, plaster of paris, a mahogany footstool, a rocking horse, the Encyclopedia Britannica printed in Braille, a packet of dehydrated instant water, oxygen monoxide, 10 toffee apples, 9 offal applets, a cheque book, a cash register, an american express card, a pony express memorial brooch, a stuffed lion, chicken pie, a policeman's truncheon, more lion food--for when the stuffed lion is not so stuffed as before, a lion tamer hat, a test tube, a dreamcatcher, a red-checked lumberjack shirt, the Monty Python Sings CD,  several coat hangers, some spare undies, an olive branch, soap, a white dove, a pack of stevia seeds, a back scratcher, a morse code machine, two pairs of binoculars, some sherbert fountains, orthopedic insoles, corn plasters, foie gras, a copy of The Oxford English Dictionary--compact edition, a grapnel, Superman and Roibin outfits, a longbow, a step ladder, a short bow, a 50 cl. 90% proof bottle of cloudberry vodka, 10 g of alcohol dehydrogenase from horse liver, a staple gun, a hamster leather thong, a spanner, a broom, extra staples, a plush pink elephant, a USB cable, a fire-wire, a portable fire extinguisher, a flame-thrower, an asbestos jacket, a box of safety-pins, a HEPA dust filter (for the asbestos), cough syrup, a pack of enlightenment cards, a quill from the left wing of a goose, a pint of blood for dipping the quill in, parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, sealing wax to seal the parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, a signet to put the seal on the sealing wax to seal the parchement to write on with the quill dipped in blood, a red ribbon to tie up the sealed parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood, insert next item here,a golden pendant to attach to the red ribbon tying up the sealed parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax, one (1) sheep--unsheared, two (2) goats with beard, a cardboard tube into which to insert the rolled up parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax to protect it from the crowds knocking it about, a stamp to put on the cardboard tube into which to insert the rolled up parchement written on with the quill dipped in blood and sealed with a signet on wax to protect it from the crowds knocking it about, a set of Russian dolls, the newest Prussian polls, food handouts for any refugees met along the way, one zeppelin not made of lead, cow guts, an inflatable boat repair kit, a pair of oars, a 50 foot hemp rope, a bonsai tree, herbicide, a tupperware salad tosser, hook, line & sinker, one (1) male beta fish in a small crystal goblet full of water, a bag of green tea leaves, a shower proof cloak, a tear-off calendar, a cocktail stick, a pogo stick, a pink carnation and a rolled up newspaper for identification purposes, medical files, nail files, nail polish*, a fake Windows 95 CD, a Chinese to English dictionary-- made in China of course, Mao's little red book - made in NK, several copies of Pravda, circa 1984, some fake Prada stuff, a Blue Guide to London, Wensleydale cheese, a Pakamac, a vintage PacMan game, a lotus blossom, starwberry jam, a 1984 Lotus Esprit -- red of course, tetraethyl lead, a miniature lead soldier dressed as Napolean, ethylene glycol, a Fisherman's Friend, a handheld harpoon, some stomach and intestine tea-bags, a sword cane, a sharpening stone, whetting oil, an egg timer, 2 dozen swan eggs, a dozen quail eggs (in case you're just not that hungry),some ersatz caviar, a stopwatch, a gag, parcel tape, herbal disinfectant, a table tennis net, a halberd, a box of custom-printed funerary fans, black and white gloves, a bronze medal for women''s 400m freestyle swimming, a digital film camera, a non-dgital film camera as backup, a polaroid camera for instant gratification,  a miniature totem pole, a heffalump trap, lots of bags, a monkey wrench, aardvark feed, a powdered periwig, orthotic inserts, a runcible spoon, a lead crucible, insert next item here