Mixed Bag

[Opsa]

Never heard of "behind the moon", but someone living "on the dark side of the moon" is someone who is insane, or otherwise out of his mind..

Other euphemisms for "insane" are:
off one's rocker
nuts
around the bend
in la-la land

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Never heard of "behind the moon", but someone living "on the dark side of the moon" is someone who is insane, or otherwise out of his mind..

Other euphemisms for "insane" are:
off one's rocker
nuts
around the bend
in la-la land

OOooh, that's a favorite game of mine... thinking up euphemisms for nucking futz.



Crazy ^{_{(AKA the Dark Side of the Moon, and The Wall, from Pink Floyd)}}
Her elevator does not go all the way to the top floor-- in fact, it rarely gets out of the basement.
A couple of bricks shy a full load.
His sixpack is missing a few cans.
She's not the brightest candle on the mantle--in fact, hers is not even lit.
The lights are on, the windows are open, but nobody's home.
He's several cards short of a full house.
His dice has ones on all the faces.
Not all of his mental spark-plugs are firing.
His mental boat has been leaking for years.
In the racetrack of life, he's still in the service pit-- facing the wrong way-- on a tricycle instead of a racecar...
If he were a car, all 4 tires would be flat, and then engine would be missing.
To say he was simply insane would be too kind; there is nothing simple about his kind of crazy.
There are still quite a few monkeys in his family tree-- and he's one of the monkey-iest
Her bird's flown the coup, and she still hasn't noticed.
He could not pour p~ss out of a boot, if you wrote the instructions on the heel.
He's frequently challenged by life's little hurdles, such as waking up in the morning or breathing.
He lives in a world of his own making, fortunately.  Nobody else would want to live there.
If you asked him to count to 10, he'd need both hands-- and he'd get lost along the way, pondering his own fingers.
In a race to the moon, he'd buy a car and head for Cleavland ....

[Aggie]

A couple of sandwiches short of a picnic, a few shillings short of a quid, nuttier than Chinese chicken salad....


Of course, I always like plain ol' "batshit crazy". 

[Swatopluk]

Hat nicht alle Tassen im Schrank (not the complete set of cups in the cupboard)
Hat eine Schraube locker (has a screw loose)
Des Wahnsinns fette Beute (insanity's fat spoils*)

*as in 'spoils of war' or 'prey', not in the sense of 'goods far beyond sale date'

[Sibling DavidH]

Des Wahnsinns fette Beute

That's very Schillerian.

Der is bekloppt  (he's been bashed)
Er hat einen Vogel (he has a bird)
Er spinnt (he is spinning)

He's one sandwich short of a picnic (and dozens of others on that pattern)
He's barking

[Swatopluk]

bekloppt, bescheuert, behämmert, deppert (all implying hits on the head)
hirnverbrannt (brainburnt)
plemplem, meschugge
Sprung in der Schüssel (crack in the soup bowl)
kleinen Mann im Ohr haben (to have a little man in the ear)
einen weichen Keks haben (to have a soft cookie)
bei dem piepts, rappelts (beeping, rattling; form analogue to 'his phone is ringing', otherwise not translatable exactly)
von allen guten Geistern verlassen (left by all good spirits)

[Opsa]

"bei dem piepts, rappelts (beeping, rattling; form analogue to 'his phone is ringing', otherwise not translatable exactly)" is probably akin to "the lights are on, but nobody's home."

One flamingo short of a trailer park.
Toys in the Attic. (Pink Floyd again!)
Around the bend.
Off the deep end.

[Swatopluk]

That person could not be elected dog catcher

I have read this phrase often in connection with persons that are obviously unqualified for public office.
Is dog catcher really an elective office in the US? And why is it dog catcher and not some other position. Is that job considered to be the lowest of the low and those doing it to be objectionable?

[Aggie]

Assuming it's elected, that'd be about the lowest of the low, I think.  If you can't even be trusted to make a dog's dinner of things....

Our American Sibs will have to clear this one up, it's not an elected position here.

[Opsa]

It's not an elected position here in the U.S., either. They could just as easily said "He could not be elected grave digger" or "...sewer scraper" I suppose, but I guess it takes less technical knowledge to chase dogs around, and sounds funnier.

[Sibling DavidH]

I suppose if someone was really slimy and repulsive, they'd say 'he couldn't even be elected senator'.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I suppose if someone was really slimy and repulsive, they'd say 'he couldn't even be elected senator'.

At one time in the US history, the senators were not directly elected at all.

It seems that the framers of our constitution did not trust the common rabble with such a "lofty" responsibility...

... later on, they realized that they could.

And even later on, some even begin to think that women might.... just-barely... be so trusted.  But not those filthy-*****.  Never those....

... it took many years of civil unrest to grant the grudging permission of the non-whites the vote.

*sigh*

[Aggie]

I suppose if someone was really slimy and repulsive, they'd say 'he couldn't even be elected senator'.

At one time in the US history, the senators were not directly elected at all.

They are still not elected up here, they are appointed by the Governor General acting on behalf of the Queen on advice of the Prime Minister. Or something like that.

I suppose if someone was really slimy and repulsive, they'd say 'he couldn't even be elected senator'.

Isn't slimy and repulsive a basic qualification?

[Bluenose]

That last one reminds me of a story about Catherine Hepburn (as I recall-- I may have the wrong deva here).

A young actress was going on and on in a real stage play about how good she was, and how much better she was than "the old hag" (Hepburn) and so on, when Hepburn walked in on the braggart.

Hepburn, in an ice-cold voice "Young lady, I am so much better than you'll ever be, I can upstage you when I'm not even on stage" and gracefully exits.

The play had a lovely solo scene with the younger actress displaying quite the range of emotions, center stage.  But right before that, there is a scene with both Hepburn's character and the younger actress's.  She and Hepburn had an exchange of dialog, while Hepburn was holding a wine glass. The scene concludes with Hepburn placing the wine glass on the mantle of the fireplace, turning and exiting the stage.

That night, at the conclusion of their dialog, Hepburn puts the glass, as usual, on the mantle-- only not quite-- it's literally 1/2 on and 1/2 off the mantle, hanging there, perchance to fall.

So that during the soliloquy, the younger actress is completely upstaged by that hanging glass--will it fall or not?  When?  The audience's attention is riveted to the impending breakage....  speeches over, curtain.   And the stage hand discovered that on the bottom of that wineglass, a piece of double-sided sticky-tape....

.... never mess with a master:  they are older and wiser than you, and have faced many a challenge and either won, or learned from losing.  That's usually how they got to be where they are.



/END

I think that one can be summed up by "old age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill"

Oh, and for the crazy euphamisms, how about:

A roo loose in the top paddock

---

Oops!  Added 'age'

[Swatopluk]

The popular election of US senators is still considered a serious flaw on the Right and the restoration of the old ways is on the eternal wish list like constitutional bans on flag burning, abortion, speaking a language different from English etc.

He's so repulsive that a photos of him could serve as a bulletproof vest.