God's aim still bad - Meteor hits Russia instead of Massachusetts

[Swatopluk]

It has been a constant prediction for many a year that any day God will finally lose His temper and patience about the godless ways of the US (tolerating gays and teaching evolution at school) and send signs of His wrath down on the worst perpetrators. In other words, a meteor strike on Boston is just around the corner, if we follow the warnings of famous US TV evangelists. Now the day has come and the meteor struck. But to everyone's surprise it did not land on Massachusetts or Southern Californi(c)a but in the Ural mountains (for our US minors: that's in Russia, the former Soviet Union). You might think the Evil Empire would be a natural target for divine retribution but why so shortly after the Russian parliament passed strong new laws (strongly supported by the church) against the gay agenda? Woud that not be exactly the wrong message? Or do we have to assume that His aim is that bad or that He set his timer wrong, so the hit came hours and thus thousands of miles off the intended target?

I assume His self-appointed spokespersons are not available for comment yet.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

I'm sure the self appointed spokespeople will say that the ruskies are godless and that the meteorite is retribution for their multiple sins. It's inconsequential what the facts are because their flocks are so incredibly misinformed.

[Swatopluk]

Still, if not in the US, the target should have been Sweden not Russia

[Griffin NoName]

Hmmm. Our govt. has just voted for gay marriage. You'd think that be enough to be eligible for retribution.

Have any field trials been done for cause and effect for retribution?

[Swatopluk]

I thought the British were punished enough by having Tories run the show

[Griffin NoName]

Don't get me started

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

Washington state just voted for Gay marriage.

Perhaps these two events caused god's aim to miss, and hit Russia instead?    

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

And France will have similar legislation passed soon enough, it passed one of the chambers and it is expected to pass in the other one.

[Swatopluk]

Well, G#d lives well in France (proverbially).
HE would not want to spoil that by dropping burning rocks on the country.

[Darlica]

Still, if not in the US, the target should have been Sweden not Russia

We've had ours already, thank you very much! 
12 December last year

[Opsa]

The FSM has noodle arms. How the heck is he supposed to hit anything accurately with those? Give him a break.

[Sibling DavidH]

He's sighting in.  The first shot, in 1908, only zapped a load of trees in Siberia.  This one was a lot more effective.  If that was still off target, the 3rd shot will be in 2108, probably in the middle.

[pieces o nine]

Well, I was taught as a child that he hates commies...       

[Swatopluk]

But why then did he drop the rock on them before the reds took over (1908) and after they stepped down (this week)?

[pieces o nine]

His ways are not our ways, nor are His thoughts our thoughts, nor is His  calendar our calendar...

[Swatopluk]

You think He got confused post festum by the calendar reform the bolshies undertook after the takeover?

[Griffin NoName]

After reading the Guardian, I feel impelled to point out it was a Meteorite not a Meteor.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

But why then did he drop the rock on them before the reds took over (1908) and after they stepped down (this week)?

Well... since he seems to be dependent on really, really old .. men.  (i.e. the pope, or islamic moolahs)

It kinda stands to reason he'd either be way, way too early, as in showing up at 3pm for a 7 o'clock dinner...

... or well beyond fashionably late, as in showing up on Tuesday for Saturday's Brunch.

[Swatopluk]

After reading the Guardian, I feel impelled to point out it was a Meteorite not a Meteor.

They change place mid-flight

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

After reading the Guardian, I feel impelled to point out it was a Meteorite not a Meteor.

They change place mid-flight

Indeed.

As has been pointed out elsewhere, it's not the long-long fall from the top of a high place that is dangerous or even unhealthy.....

... it's the rather too-quick coming to a stop at the very end of that fall, that is bothersome.

[Griffin NoName]

If they had elastic rope attached they could bounce back whence they came, like bungee jumping.

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

If they had elastic rope attached they could bounce back whence they came, like bungee jumping.

Better an elastic than what a couple of would-be "bungee" jumpers tried a coupla years back-- they couldn't find long, stretchy cords, so they opted for nylon climbing rope instead.   

Yes--the same rope that is used by climbers to ascend vertical cliffs.

These two would-be "athletes" tied the ropes to their ankles, and jumped off a bridge... falling nearly the whole way, reaching normal terminal velocity for a human in freefall, head-first....

... and yep... their feets were not quite up to the sudden shock ...

... this was all pieced together by the forensic team trying to figure out why these two bodies--minus a foot each, were at the bottom of a high bridge ...

[Griffin NoName]

I suppose the two ropes would give it away, plus they'd have rope burn on their ankles. Idiots.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

In a related note...

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7067021056/hE5BE5D03/

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I suppose the two ropes would give it away, plus they'd have rope burn on their ankles. Idiots.

The ropes were short, rather high-up, and not immediately obvious ... or so the story goes.  And the bodies were found in a shallow creek bed, by a fisherman.  It may be an Urban Myth.

But I've no doubt that somewhere, at some point, some idiot has tied a rope to his ankle and jumped head-first ...

[pieces o nine]

^   Have you seen video of the men of Vanuatu diving off wooden towers, vines tied to their ankles? I saw one and will never watch another. Far worse, IMHO, is that this has apparently become a tourist industry. I don't understand what kind of person travels around to pay indigenous people to risk injury or death for their 'entertainment'.

[Griffin NoName]

I don't understand what kind of person travels around to pay indigenous people to risk injury or death for their 'entertainment'.

Agree I don't understand but fear this is the way our society is progressing - or should that be regressing?

[Opsa]

The fact that someone would pay to see this is far more freakish than the act.

[Swatopluk]

When I first read about it in David Attenborough's memoirs, I at first thought this was the April Fool chapter he promised would be in the book.
Bungee jumping a 'native' invention? Seemed extremly implausible to me. Only insane Westerners could come up with such an absurd practice.

[Sibling Zono (anon1mat0)]

I saw a documentary where they showed the practice, it's a rite of passage. No broken ankles.

[Swatopluk]

And the jump is not deep enough to reach terminal velocity

[Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith]

I saw that way-way back in the 70's (or so) in National Geographic magazine, back when it was still good.

The vines they use are quite stretchy, made of some plant that had rubber-like qualities.  The tower they jump from (if I remember correctly) is a man-made construction of sticks & such, and would be roughly 3-4 stories high?  If I am remembering all this from 40 years (or so) ago--it was high, but not all that high.  The jumpers were as already pointed out, young men of the tribe experiencing a rite of adulthood.  And being primitives, nobody was overweight in the various pictures I saw.  The vines would stretch some, and rebound some.   I doubt anyone reached terminal velocity.