If it's not one thing, it's my MOTHER

[Sibling Chatty]

So, ya 'member when Mom moved to be with my brother?

Yeah, Mom, how's THAT workin' out for ya...

I've been getting regular "no food, nobody here for days, not able to do this, not able to get to that..." phone calls. Ok, you chose to move, I warned you.

BUT, now, all the mess (6 days with nothing to eat but Raisin Bran and vanilla wafers, medications not filled, doctors appointments missed) is irrelevant, because Wife 5 redux, the inspiration for "take care of your Mom" is being transferred BACK to the smaller town she came from, and Brother, too stupid to realize that gasoline WILL get pricier, is going, too. Oh, yeah, there's a room for Mom. Small, NO HEAT, so she'd have to use space heaters, and--well, no she doesn't want to live there.

So, then she's looking for a place near NOBODY??

I finally told her that she either got nearer to me, or I WOULD NOT accept her calls, because I've been beaten down with anxiety over her welfare. Yeah, I used to get out of bed a 11 PM when she called, STARVING, buy food, drive an hour and a half, fix her something and go home to get 2 hours sleep before I went to work. I can't do that anymore.

So, the apartments she was in here? 30+ people on the waiting list.

WAY TO GO MOM!!

I'm going to search for a place to put Batwoman before I have to kill her... I may have to kill her anyway. she's just informed me that she wants to have a 9 year old van repaired AT THE DEALERSHIP. AT a labor rate of $130 an hour, instead of the usual $70 an hour.

[Griffin NoName]

Trailer in your garden which can be towed away when she misbehaves?

[Sibling Chatty]

If I could get her wheelchair up into one, that's EXACTLY where she'd be.

There's a third of an acre that was SUPPOSED to be where she would live, but she screwed up the financing on the house to the point that we couldn't build for her...or buy a trailer, or ANYTHING.

That woman is THE STUBBORNEST human on earth. WORSE than her sons.  AUUUUGH....

[Griffin NoName]

If I could get her wheelchair up into one, that's EXACTLY where she'd be.

Aaaaaaaarhg!!  Ye be wantin' a Woolly Ramp like wot I got fer me 'ammock like. See the Woolly Ramp thred. H'acterlly ye culd leeve awf the Woollly cos it be awften rainin' owtside an' it be cheeper.

H'alternative like, ye culd subject 'er to a continuous playin' o' Jennifer Fox's Fling Confessions of a Free Woman

[Sibling Chatty]

Tonight, I threatened to stick her in the barn with the mice and rats...

Actually, if she can't get into the apartments where she was here, there are some some ones in Brenham, about 15 miles away. $150 a month more, but THAT my brother can eat. He's the one that screwed her up in the first place. Of course WHO gets to go investigate them?? Not HER...me.

As much as I would HATE to have her right in my face, it would be so much better to have her here, on the same property. She'd be a block from the church she likes, and only 6 blocks from the Senior Center, where they miss her terribly, and have nobody to play the piano for their singing! Except for during heavy rains, she could get out and go in that expensive power chair.

OF course, I would have to be reminded daily that they DO frown on matricide, but anyone who has ever met her would help me plead justifiable homicide.

[Darlica]

I advice in strongest possible means against having her live on your property, for your sake and Dan's, since she obviously has no respect for your needs. With her that close you would probably end up on 24/7 service duty and that's not what you need.

Your brother has taken her in to his boat figuratively speaking, now he better row for his life, it's his turn now, and she should talk to him about it not you. If she is going to move back to your vicinity he is the one who should make that happen and pay the extra costs.   

[pieces o nine]

Yarrr, aye agrees wiv Darlica on this...   

[anthrobabe]

I agree.
She can not live with you and Dan-- not even in a trailer in the garden. would someone from the senior center like a room mate?
It's not being a bad daughter- it is self preservation.

I do not want to see this on the news

[Sibling Chatty]

As told in the GOOD NEWS thread....Mom will be living in an apartment in Rosenberg, near NONE of us, but "on the way home" for my brother.

I intend to make sure SOMEONE stocks her pantry with all the things she WILL eat, in quantity, and tracks her medicine refills. She'll still be an hour and a half (or more) drive from me, but one that's not as bad traffic-wise, nor do I intend to make the trip often.

That is a blessing for me, and if she's not happy, it is, indeed, her own choice, once again.

[Darlica]

This is indeed good news Chatty!

[Griffin NoName]

Sounds well placed !

But intrigued. Why near NONE? 

[Sibling Chatty]

Near me would be moving back here, and she's not that excited about admitting she was wrong.

Near Baby brother?? No, he HAS a life, and it's NOT convenient for him and Fairly New Wife to take on Mom and Mom Issues, and she doesn't KNOW anybody near where they live.

Other Brother is moved to Bay City, (enema nozzle insert for the globe) and Mom does not want to live there.

However 20 or so years ago, she played the piano for this church in Rosenberg. She LOVES this place, some people still remember her, she WANTS to live there, and somehow has a fantasy that 'people will help her out' especially if she's got her van, and all she has to do is PAY them to take her where she wants in HER van...not remembering that it also entails loading and unloading her and her wheelchair (standard one, not her electric one).

I assume she'll eventually figure it out...that not everybody HAS a daughter that can be coerced into taking care of OTHER elderly ladies besides their mother...

Just because I did it for years does not mean everybody else in the world will do so, or will even have the TIME to do so. Mom has never recognized the fact that she is a user, plain and simple, and that people tire of users eventually.

However, Not My Problem.

[Bluenose]

I am a big fan of not my problem in the appropriate circumstances, and Chatty these certainly seem like a good example.  Just promise your worried siblings that you'll not let your good nature get the better of you and end up having you running all over the place for the woman.  You need time for Chatty.  Yep, that's it, just concentrate on Chatty time, with a side order of Dan cuddling thown in for good measure.

[anthrobabe]

Exactly
not your problem
as it should be

glad to hear it

[Opsa]

*rumble*

It may be tough love, but in a case like this, it's the only way. Let her figure things out. She will.